Edward the Beta
by KimberleyIonaSmith
Summary: Set in Eclipse, just after graduation. Something strange is happening with Edward and the wolves. They have a weird connection -  mythical, not adult! - , but I don't want to give it away until the Bella  in my story  figures it out.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own the rights to the 'Twilight' series and I wasn't involved in writing the books or in converting them to a screenplays. However, on the Fanfiction website, people like me get to play with new possibilities for stories that they enjoyed, and that's what I've done here.

The beginning owes quite a bit to the bit of Eclipse that it's based on. Everyone starts off doing the same thing as in the book, until Edward starts acting strange and then they all respond to that.

It was dark, and I couldn't see the wolves; only their eyes glowing in the black.

Edward spoke for them in a strange flat voice: "Thank you for the information. We will watch."

With a sighing sound, the eyes sank closer to the ground one set at a time. Then Edward sat down. Jasper looked at him in confusion, the rest of the family were all still standing around. Vampires don't need to sit down, they don't get tired. Then Alice scowled a bit and Jasper turned his attention back to her, soothing her and trying to console her. Alice really hated being 'blind'.

Jasper and Emmett fought first. Everyone else watched them. I sat down next to Edward and leant against him. He didn't turn to look at me, he continued to focus intently on the fight between his brothers.

Next Jasper and Alice fought, which Jasper claimed was supposed to set my mind at rest. Edward continued to stare intently, as if he'd never seen his siblings fight before. I wondered if they had ever had another training session like this one.

Then Alice came and sat down by my side and Jasper nodded to Edward.

Edward didn't move.

Jasper frowned and said, "Edward, can you hear me? Don't you want a turn?"

Edward grimaced at something that I couldn't see or hear, then he shook his head tightly once. Jasper shrugged and carried on with what he was doing. Everyone took turns, Carlisle, then Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett again. But, every time there was a pause, Jasper's gaze came back to Edward, and his frown seemed to cut deeper and deeper into his forehead.

Eventually, Jasper called a halt. Edward relayed the message that the wolves wanted to smell the vampires. Then, he finally stood up.

But, instead of standing in a line with the rest of his family, Edward walked over to stand next to a large black wolf, which I took to be Sam. It was extraordinary. The line of vampires at one end of the clearing and at the other end of the clearing, the line of wolves and Edward.

He locked eyes with Sam and I could have sworn that they were reading each other's minds. Everyone's eyes were focussed on the pair. I don't know what we were waiting for, but it felt as though something important must be happening. For a long time neither the wolf nor the vampire moved. Then, slowly, Edward raised his left hand in a strange half wave, Sam nodded sharply and the spell was broken.

Edward returned to join his family, ignoring their quizzical looks and – I suspect – their curious thoughts. Then the wolves began their strange parade, sniffing at all the vampires in turn, while the vampires stood weirdly still, looking more unearthly and mythical than the giant wolves.

One of the wolves, a russet colour, seemed less unhappy than the others about proximity to the vampires. It finished it's inspection and came to stand in front of me. I looked into the eyes of this giant creature and I thought that I recognised Jacob.

Curling my toes with embarrassment, imagining how much teasing I'd get if I was wrong, I said, hesitantly, "Jake?"

The russet wolf barked a laugh at me, and I knew it was Jake. I reached out to stroke the fur, wondering how it would feel under my hand. But, then I stopped myself. Friends don't stroke friends without asking first.

The Jake-Wolf knocked his nose against my palm, like a cat trying to be stroked. I had my permission. The fur was warm and soft, much like the fur of a big, fluffy sheepdog. Wondering what Jake felt like, I didn't get out of the way in time and he licked me all over my face. It was disgusting.

All the time that I was stroking Jake, and even being licked by him, Edward stood motionless, watching us, but not moving a muscle. He didn't even blink.

The rest of the wolves began to back off and then, suddenly, Jacob darted away. I called after him, wanting to talk more. But, then Edward spoke, in his flat 'interpreting' tone again "he's just going to phase, he wants to talk to you himself."

Edward hadn't moved, it was eerie seeing him so still. I knew that he wasn't human, but he had never looked less human than this evening. Talking in that strange voice, and standing and sitting so very still. It was quite unnerving.

Especially in comparison to Jake, who was his usual bubbly self. Even as a wolf, Jake seemed more human than Edward did this evening. I didn't like it at all. I was eager to get him alone and find out what was going on. But, I had a feeling that there might be a queue. The rest of the Cullens were in a loose huddle, exchanging pointed looks and brief whispers that I couldn't make out. I guessed they too were wondering what on earth was wrong with Edward.

Jake returned, as himself, wearing only a black pair of shorts.

"We need to decide what to do with Bella during the fight" he announced.

"I've not quite figured out all the details yet," Edward answered.

I frowned, "aren't I a part of this decision?" I asked.

"The Reservation would be safe," Jake said, "Colin and Brady are staying behind anyway, they'd keep you safe."

"She's been there too much," Edward complained, "her scent is all over the place."

Jake nodded, "we could hide you here, Bells, then one of us could be with you in a shake of a wolf's tail."

"What about Charlie? If they follow my scent, might they find him?"

"Already covered, there's a game on, he'll be with Billy. What do you think, Bella?"

I shrugged. I was suddenly realising what this attack we were preparing for actually meant for my family, my friends and the whole of Forks. Nobody was safe! How could I worry about a minor detail like where I should be standing?

"What if they found her before they found us? We don't know exactly what route they'll take."

Edward and Jake grimaced at the same time, looking weirdly similar.

"Let me think," Jake frowned, "my scent disgusts you, right?"

Edward nodded, "it's possible," he said. "Jasper?"

Jasper appeared by his side instantly, "Edward?"

"I thought it would be a fairer test if someone else tried," Edward explained to Jacob, "Bella's scent is much more potent to me."

Jake nodded. "I'm going to carry you, Bells. I want to see if that confuses the scent enough to stop any bloodsuckers tracking you."

I frowned, and Jake rolled his eyes at me, "I'm not kidnapping you, Bells."

He scooped me up and ran off. He was holding me against his chest, his woody smell filling my head. He didn't speak and nor did I. It wouldn't have been much of a test if Jasper could hear us. Jake jolted me a lot, he hadn't had as much practice carrying humans as Edward had.

He was still carrying me when we returned to the clearing, and I was still in his arms when Jasper and Alice reappeared. Edward looked unhappy, but he didn't say anything. "You can put me down now, the experiment is over."

Jake obeyed and I walked over to Edward and took his hand. Despite what I must smell like to him, Edward put his arm around my waist.

"I think it'll work," Jasper said, "nobody would chose to follow a trail that smelt like that. Bella's scent was almost completely obscured. It gave me an idea. If Bella were to lay a false trail, we could lure them here, to this clearing."

"Where we split up and take them out," Jake finished the thought with a grin.

Jasper looked hard at him for a moment, then he allowed himself a tight smile in return.

"It'll work," Alice said, "my vision disappears where half of them go through the forest."

"Then, that's where we are," Jake said.

"We'll lay the false trail Friday afternoon," Edward said, "you can meet us and carry her somewhere out of the way, easily defensible. I'll meet you there."

"And we'll leave her alone?" Jake frowned "that's not going to cut it, leech."

Edward pouted, but didn't argue.

"Seth!" Jake said suddenly, "he's too young to fight, but he's stubborn and doesn't want to stay in La Push. If he's with Bella, in wolf form, I can keep an eye on her from here."

"How far can your link hold up?" Edward asked.

"300 miles is the furthest we've gone to experiment," Jake told me, since Edward had already heard it in his head anyway.

Edward carried me home in his arms. I may have fallen asleep on the way. I certainly wasn't alert. I woke up, or came to myself, as he laid me in my bed.

"Stay," I said.

"I don't think that I can, not tonight. Jasper really wants to talk to me."

"I don't want to be alone." I was afraid of the dreams that I was going to have tonight. Dreams about my school friends, my dad, the lady who worked in the library, all those people who were in danger because of me.

"Bella, if I stay now, I'll have to talk to Jasper tomorrow, while you're awake. Won't you miss me more then?"

"Right now I don't care about tomorrow, please stay."

He sighed, "how can I resist you?" He lay down next to me and let me curl myself against him.

"You won't leave while I'm sleeping?"

"I promise."

The last thing I remember from that night is the faint glow of Edward's cell phone screen as he began exchanging texts with his brother.

When I finally woke up, it was afternoon. Edward was still laying beside me, and his fingers were dancing over the buttons on his phone.

"That's what you were doing when I fell asleep, have you been texting Jasper all night?"

"Sort of, there's a lot of details to tie up."

I sighed. "I don't like this," I said, "I don't like seeing you and Jacob grinning about this fight as though it's going to be fun."

"Jacob and me, huh?" Edward sounded thoughtful, as though he thought I meant something by the coupling of their names.

"I wish that there was something that I could do."

"You are doing something. You're going to lay the trail that lures them to the clearing. It's an enormous help."

"And then I'm going to hide."

"Yes." Edward was firm and almost stern, "you are going to hide, because you're human and because you're the most important thing in the world. Luckily, that's something that Jacob and I agree on."

He stared out of the window without blinking, and it reminded me of his inexplicable behaviour from earlier. Now was my chance to get an explanation. "You were acting strangely last night."

"Was I?"

"You were very still and watchful, as soon as the wolves arrived."

"They're my mortal enemies, that doesn't sound like a strange reaction."

I shook my head, "your family weren't still. Did you hear something? You can hear their thoughts, can't you? Did you hear something that worried you?"

I'm not sure why, but the expression that crossed Edward's face at that moment reminded me strongly of someone. I was sure that it wasn't an expression that I'd ever seen on Edward before. It was a kind of strain, a struggle, a frustration. It was as though he was loosing a battle with something within his own mind. "I literally cannot tell you that," he said.

I wanted to work out what was going on, what it was about Edward's expression and about that strange phrase 'I literally cannot tell you that' that bothered me. It rang a bell somewhere, but I couldn't quite remember where I had heard something similar, or seen something similar. But, my thoughts were interrupted when my phone rang.

"Hi, Bella," I heard Alice's cheerful voice, "get dressed in that red top and your new jeans. We're coming over in twenty minutes. I'm taking you out for brunch and Jasper is going to talk to Edward. Don't worry, Bella, we'll figure it all out. Actually, forget I said that, I'm out of step. You'll tell me what you're worrying about over brunch and then I'll reassure you that we'll figure it all out. That's right, sorry, Bella, all these holes are playing havoc with my sense of time. Maybe I should tell you what I'm worried about first . . . no, that doesn't work . . . you go first, then me and then we both end up feeling better. Sorry, thinking aloud there. I'll see you in twenty minutes, and Edward too, I hope."

"Uh, ok, Alice, bye."

I hung up rather confused. It wasn't exactly unusual for Alice to babble so much that I couldn't understand her or get in a word myself. But, it was unusual for Alice to sound worried and it was very unusual for Alice to say that she 'hoped' something would happen. Usually she _knew_ what was going to happen.

"Did you hear that?"

Edward nodded.

"Does Alice sound worried to you?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm not sure," he said, "I'll talk to Jasper and I'll let you know what he says. If there's anything wrong with Alice, he'll know. And, if it was serious, he wouldn't let her out of his sight. Maybe perms are coming back into fashion."

"What?"

"The things that seem important to Alice may not necessarily be the same as the things that seem important to you. Would you let her perm your hair?"

I wasn't sure what to say. I would hate to have a perm. I can't quite imagine what that would look like. But, Alice was, well, persuasive. And, she sounded really worried. "You think that would help?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. I know that she can't perm _her_ hair and I know that upset her in the eighties. Rose wouldn't let her. It was a difficult time for all of us."

"You're insane. I'm going to wash my face and get dressed."

I put on the red top and the new jeans. I didn't want Alice anymore upset than she already was. While I was dressing, I could hear Edward pacing in my bedroom and muttering. It was unusual, because he could easily walk quietly enough and mutter quietly enough for me not to hear him if he chose. But, if I concentrated, I could make out most of what he was saying.

"Wolves and Jacob . . . Alpha . . . words . . . just can't say it . . . she can't hear me . . . last night . . . another way . . . Oh, Bella, how am I going to tell you?"

When I walked back into the room, I expected to find Edward distracted, running his hands through his messy hair, talking quickly, trying to explain something. But he wasn't. Instead he was sat calmly on my bed, leafing through a copy of the Da Vinci Code that I'd never bothered to finish.

"You're ok?" I asked.

"Of course, everything's fine. Unless Alice wants to do something to _my_ hair."

I liked Edward's hair, but I'd never really thought that he did. It was too messy for his personality. So I was surprised by the vehemence with which he spoke. "Are you so very happy with your hair as it is?"

Edward looked shocked and hurt, "don't you like my hair?" he asked.

"Of course I like it." His mouth turned down and his eyes were sad; I'd really insulted him. "You have wonderful hair. I was just surprised to hear that you liked it. I mean, you don't usually seem very worried about your appearance. I just assumed that you weren't interested."

"I suppose that I take the way I look for granted. I've looked exactly the same for a very long time now. Do you think that I should try something different?" Edward pronounced 'different' as if it meant 'hideous' or 'life-threatening'.

It was too good an opportunity to pass up, "I thought that you'd cut it, at some point," I said, "I thought that you'd have it short eventually."

His eyes filled with terror, but he managed to keep his voice level when he said, "it wouldn't grow back."

I nodded off-handedly, "I'd like it short," I said, "is that a problem? I mean, as your girlfriend, I expected to have some say . . ."

Desperately keeping his tone as light as mine, Edward said, "of course, Bella, of course, I'll do what ever you want with it," but his eyes betrayed him. He looked as though he had just agreed to have his puppy put down because I was allergic There was no hesitation in his willingness to make this sacrifice, but it was paining him to imagine life with short hair.

"I was thinking about a grade two," I said, but I couldn't stop myself, I started giggling.

Edward's face went from shock, to confusion, to relief and finally settled on fury. He grabbed me and began tickling me, "I can't believe you just did that. You made me think that you hated my hair and wanted it all cut off. That was so mean! If you wanted to laugh so much, you should have just asked me to do this, see I can make you laugh as much as you want."

I was struggling and begging, when there was a knock on the door. He had to release me so that I could let his siblings in.

They must have heard us as they came up the drive, Jasper ruffled Edward's hair in a very big-brotherly gesture and said, "I think Bella has a point, you would look smarter with a short back and sides."

Edward growled at him.

"Play nicely, boys," Alice said "and don't forget to call me, Jazz."

He nodded, "you'll be alright?"

"Of course, Bella and I will have a nice chat and she'll get something to eat. Then we'll meet you at the house."

We exchanged goodbye kisses and left the house. Edward and Jasper took his car and Alice and I drove off in hers.

Even though we both knew that there was loads to talk about Alice wouldn't start talking until I had a plate of food in front of me and had at least begun to eat it. "Here's the deal, Bella," she said, when she saw my reluctance to consume anything at all, "I won't talk unless you're eating." That worked pretty well!

"So," she began, "I know that you're worried about Edward. But, I want you to tell me exactly what it is that's been worrying you. It started last night, right?"

I nodded and told her all about how strangely still he'd been and how odd it had been that he hadn't protested at Jacob carrying me. Then, about this morning and the strange look that I didn't describe very well and what he'd said about 'literally' not being able to tell me.

"But, you're worried too."

Alice nodded, "yes, I am. The thing is, and this is why I didn't want to tell you until after you'd told me, Edward's disappeared. I can't see him anymore."

I gasped, "but, doesn't that mean . . ." I couldn't say it, what it might mean if Edward had disappeared from Alice's visions.

She looked as though she was about to cry, "I don't _know_ what it means, Bella. It might mean that there's something wrong with me. It might mean that I'm loosing my ability. To be honest, I'm beginning to hope that is what it means. But, Carlisle doesn't seem to think that's very likely. Or at least, he's never heard of it happening before." She stopped abruptly, "Bella, you have to eat."

I pouted, but, Alice just sat there, waiting, so I shovelled another unwanted forkful into my mouth. I couldn't bear to sit here eating while Edward was in danger, but I had to know what Alice had to say and she was determined not to talk to me if I wouldn't eat.

"But, something might have happened to him last night. It might be something to do with the wolves. When we were texting last night. He was being rather strange. He didn't answer direct questions – Jasper's going to have another crack at him today, he has a way of preventing people from withholding information – he was, well, cagey. And that isn't like Edward at all. I mean, I know that he keeps his private life private, but he isn't weird about it. Jasper wanted to know a few more details about the wolves. I know they're on our side in this one, but, still, they've seen us fight and Jazz doesn't like the feeling that we're at a disadvantage now. But, Edward just didn't answer. It was weird."

Alice sagged, "then, after we left the clearing, and there were no wolves around to obscure my vision, I realised that Edward had vanished. I can't see anything. It's as though . . ." the unspoken words hung between us 'it's as though he has no future'.

"Do you think it was a decision that was made last night about the fight?" I asked, "do you think that something might happen to Edward?"

"I don't know. Oh, Bella, I'm so scared! I don't understand what this means. And to not know what might happen to Edward, it's horrible. Even in Italy I could see him!"

"What if he doesn't fight? What would happen then? Would the rest of you be safe?"

Alice screwed up her eyes and tried to make a decision that would let her see the fight play out without Edward. I waited.

It seemed like a long wait. I felt guilty using Alice this way. It wasn't fair to her. I might be forcing her to see a vision of her family – or even herself – being hurt. But, I had to know if there was anything that I could do to help Edward. I had to find a way out for him. I had to find a way to keep him safe.

Finally, after an age, Alice opened her eyes, "I can't see anyone else getting hurt, the fight seems to go well."

"And, Edward?"

She shook her head, "he hasn't come back. But, that might be because he hasn't decided to miss the fight yet. I was trying to see what would happen if I decided to lock him in the basement. But, it might be different if he could be persuaded to sit the fight out."

"That's what we have to do," I told her, "we can't let him fight."

Alice nodded, "you're right. The rest of us will be fine. Now that the wolves are with us, it really isn't going to be hard at all. Bella, you'll have to persuade Edward. Nobody else would be able to do it."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own the rights to the 'Twilight' series and I wasn't involved in writing the books or in converting them to a screenplays. However, on the Fanfiction website, people like me get to play with new possibilities for stories that they enjoyed, and that's what I've done here.

When we got back to the house, we found Edward and Jasper in the lounge. They weren't talking English.

I looked over at Alice, who grinned (she was probably relieved to be able to see what I was about to say), "Russian" she told me.

Edward sighed heavily, then his speech changed to a different sound and Jasper replied in a similar fashion.

"Er, Latin," said Alice, "but, no, I don't know why."

I couldn't understand a word that they were saying. But, I could see that they were both frustrated. They were scowling at each other, leaning close together. It looked as though they were trying to sort out some problem, or solve some conundrum and they were having trouble with it. I had never seen vampires looking so stressed.

"It's not helping," Jasper said, throwing himself back against the couch and rubbing his hand over his eyes, "you sound the same."

Edward nodded, "I know. It was worth a try, though."

"What were you trying to do?" Alice asked.

Jasper frowned, "I'm not sure exactly," he said, "there's something off about the way Edward's speaking. It doesn't sound right. So, he was trying a few different languages. None of them helped."

Alice glanced at Edward, and was about to speak.

"Yes, we tried it, it didn't work" Edward said interrupting Alice, who glowered at him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing; it's just annoying that your gift is working just fine, while mine is on the blink."

"It's just the wolves," I said, hoping to reassure Alice.

Edward hissed loudly and stomped out of the room. Alice and Jasper ignored him and sat down on the couch together.

I looked after Edward, half-expecting him to come rushing back in apologising for his lack of manners. He was usually so courteous with me. Nothing seemed to be normal about him today. "What was that about?"

Alice and Jasper both shrugged. I looked at Jasper, waiting for some kind of explanation, and he eventually gave it.

"He's annoyed and frustrated. Actually, he's incredibly frustrated," Jasper said, "I think that he wants desperately to tell me something and he just can't work out how to say it."

"Well," Alice said, "I wish he'd just say something. Even if he can't quite phrase it properly, it's better to get out a mangled version than just to sit there saying nothing at all. Did you get any closer to understanding what's going on?"

Jasper shook his head, "and he won't talk about Saturday either. It's getting ridiculous. It's as though he doesn't want to tell me what he's thinking about anything. I don't think that he trusts me anymore." His face fell.

"Why wouldn't he trust you?"

"Well, I did try and kill his mate," Jasper said, with a wry smile, "I think that would be a good enough reason."

"There were extenuating circumstances," I told him, "and that was months ago."

Jasper laughed. "I'm pretty sure he wants you to go after him, he's in his room."

"I thought he stomped out of here because he wanted to get away from me."

"I don't think it was you" Jasper said sadly.

I left him and Alice trying to console one another, and went to find Edward.

Jasper was still upset about the little incident at my birthday party the year before. But, I knew that Edward wasn't upset with him. Edward respected Jasper highly and certainly didn't have problems trusting him. Whatever was going on with him at the moment, I was pretty certain that it wasn't him losing trust in Jasper.

Edward was in his room, lying on his back on that huge gold bed that there was no reason for him to own. Everytime I saw that bed it reminded me of when he'd asked Alice to kidnap me. Now that thought just made me even more puzzled. How could Edward go so quickly from plotting with his siblings to trap me, to not being able to talk to them? What was going on in his head?

I clambered onto the bed and lay next to him. "Jasper thinks that you're upset with him."

"I know." His voice was dry and almost completely devoid of emotion.

"Are you?"

"No." Edward sounded tired, which didn't make any sense. He couldn't get tired.

I turned to look at him. His curls had fallen around his head like flames around cherubim. He was staring at the ceiling as though it was about to fall on his head.

"What are you upset about?"

"I . . . I can't seem to tell anyone."

"Can you at least tell Jasper that it isn't at him?" There was no need for Jasper to go on beating himself up about something that nobody blamed him for.

"I tried, but, he doesn't believe me. My emotions aren't matching up to my words properly. He's finding me disorientating at the moment."

I stared at the ceiling alongside him for a while. It was white and perfect, just like the rest of the Cullen house. None of their corners had cobwebs in, none of their paintwork had cracks. All of the walls and ceilings were perfectly smooth and smart. Thinking about it, it probably wasn't white. People didn't decorate in white, did they? People painted rooms 'cream' and 'pearl', but not 'white'.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, after a few minutes of silent staring.

"I was wondering what the paint was called that went on the ceiling."

"Almond."

"Oh, why is it that nobody calls paint 'white'?"

He screwed his eyes up and thought, "because it isn't white."

"It looks white to me."

"Yes, I suppose it would."

"Edward, are paint manufacturers all vampires?"

Finally, he smiled. "I doubt it. I suppose that they like to pretend their customers can discern subtler colours than they really can. Esme chose the paint, you could ask her if she bought it from a vampire."

"Maybe I will."

The lighter topic seemed to have cheered Edward up, he rolled over onto his side and said, "can we pretend that it's just us for a bit?"

"Forget about the vampires and wolves and horrible deaths?"

"Please. I'd like to just focus on the two of us for a while."

"I'd like that, Edward."

I snuggled into him and he pulled me close against his chest. "What was your favourite fairy tale as a child?" he asked. It reminded me of when we'd first started talking and he'd fired question after question at me. He'd wanted to know everything about me, especially the little things that made me human. I missed those sorts of easy conversations.

"I liked The Seven Swans," I told him.

"I don't know that one, will you tell it to me?"

I smiled at my hundred-year-old vampire boyfriend. "You want me to tell you a fairy story?" He nodded against me. "Alright, well, once upon a time there was a princess and seven princes. They lived very happily in a palace with their parents: the king and queen. Until one day, the queen died. The king and the princess and the princes were all very sad for a long time, but, eventually the king found love again and that's when everything began to go wrong."

Edward was relaxed now, he was smiling at me, watching my lips as I told him the story.

"The king fell in love with a witch. He didn't know that she was a witch, of course, because she had cast a spell of love-blindness on him and he couldn't see her true colours. So he married the witch and she became the queen. She was very jealous of the princes, but most of all she was jealous of the princess, because she was good and beautiful and kind and everyone in the kingdom loved her.

"So, the queen wove stories and twisted the mind of the king and convinced him that his children were his enemies. He banished the princes and sent the princess away to live in a hut in the middle of the forest. So that the princes couldn't help their sister, the witch-queen cast a spell on them and turned them all into swans.

"The princess sat alone in the hut in the forest and cried. She cried for the mother she had lost, and the father who had spurned her, and her brothers who were doomed to fly as swans and live in nests. She cried so hard and for so long that eventually a good fairy heard her and came to ask what was wrong."

Talking about the good fairy reminded me of what it had felt like when Edward had entered my life. He had just appeared, suddenly and shining, this gleaming white, beautiful man who looked too good to be true. But, he turned out to be very much real, and – though I still couldn't believe my luck – he turned out to be mine!

I wondered if this was what it would be like to tell fairy stories to my children: noticing inside your own head all the important reflections of the real world that the fairy stories contain. But, then I caught myself and remembered that I wasn't going to be telling stories to my children. I'd fallen in love with a vampire, we could have almost anything we wanted, except for children.

"The princess told the good fairy everything and the good fairy felt sorry for the princess and for her whole family so she told the princess how she could break the witch-queen's spell. It wasn't easy. The princess must sew enchanted shirts for her brothers and her brothers must wear them. But, the shirts were to be no ordinary shirts. They must be made out of a fabric woven from a thread made of nettles. And, in order for the enchantment to work, the princess must make all the shirts herself and whilst she was making them she mustn't speak. She couldn't say a single word or the spell would be broken and her brothers would remain as swans forever."

Now that I was telling it, it seemed a strange choice. To be telling Edward, who had for some reason stopped talking to his siblings, a story about a princess who is forced to stop talking in order to break a spell. I wondered if he found the story comforting. He was still smiling at me, and still contentedly watching my lips as I spoke.

"So the princess set to work. She picked nettles, though she hurt her hands. She stomped them and crushed them, though she hurt her feet. She spun the nettles into thread and she wove the thread into cloth and all the time she didn't say a word.

"Things might have gone on in this way until the shirts were finished, had the princess not happened to be so very strikingly beautiful. But, she was beautiful and so it happened that, when a handsome prince rode through the forest one day, he didn't ride past her hut, he stopped to stare at her, and to talk to her, and to ask her to marry him. In fairy tales, of course, people get married at the drop of a hat."

Edward snorted at that, but he didn't speak, so I carried on with the story.

"So the handsome prince put the beautiful, but silent princess on the back of his horse and carried her away to his palace and married her. Then, as is the way in many marriages – though, by no means all – soon enough the handsome prince and the silent princess had a baby. By this time the witch-queen had heard all about the silent princess's change in fortune and she wasn't at all pleased. So, she crept into the silent princess's bedchamber at night, stole the baby and threw it down a well. Then she put about the rumour that the princess had eaten her baby.

"The prince didn't believe the rumour for one moment, but he was very surprised that the princess didn't speak up to defend or explain herself. They lived together as man and wife for some time longer and, soon enough, a second baby was born. The same thing happened again. The witch-queen stole the second baby and spread the rumour that the princess had eaten it.

"Again the prince stood by his wife, though he was finding it harder by now. He wished that she would speak and clear up what had really happened to her babies. Too soon, really, a third baby was born and the tragedy was repeated The witch-queen snuck in, stole the baby and threw it down the well. This time the witch-queen didn't need to start any rumours, they spread all around the kingdom of their own accord.

"And this time, the prince was convinced. He decided that the silent princess could not be good after all, that she had fooled him and eaten her babies. He took her before his father the king and the king condemned her to death by burning.

"The princess had spent every spare moment spinning and weaving and sewing the little swan-sized shirts out of nettles, and she had almost finished. On the night before she was supposed to be burnt, she was sewing the very last shirt. Even as they led her out to the stake, she was still sewing furiously.

"They tied her to the stake and at that very moment, seven swans – who were, of course, her brothers – came flying overhead. The silent princess tossed up the nettle shirts and they fell onto her brother's backs. Instantly the swans transformed back into princes. All except for the youngest who continued to have a swan's wing where his left arm should be, because she hadn't quite finished the last sleeve.

"The princes untied their sister and, now that she could speak, she told everyone what had happened. They all went to the well and low and behold there were the three babies, all quite well. It turned out that the witch-queen had thrown the first queen – the no-longer-silent princess's mother – in the very same well, and she had taken care of her grandchildren, until they were all rescued. So all families were reunited. The witch-queen was executed and they all lived happily ever after. The end."

Edward kissed my lips gently, when I finished my story. "That was your favourite fairy story as a child?"

I nodded.

Edward grinned, "what a romantic child you were. I wish that I'd known you then."

I tried to imagine what that would have been like. Edward, still his perfect, poised, gorgeous self, meeting me when I was a shy, nervous child who didn't even know how to ride a bike. I couldn't see that being a very successful meeting. "That would have been weird. You would have been seventeen. Imagine if you'd fallen in love with me then! Imagine if you hadn't; you'd have eaten me!"

Edward sighed, "that's probably true. How strange to think that we met at exactly the right time. When I had enough control, when we were – outwardly at least – the same age. It's almost enough to make one believe in destiny."

I stared at him: my miracle. "Don't you believe in destiny?" Didn't he remember me finding him just as the clock struck? Didn't he wonder at the strange series of impossible steps that had brought us together, even though we had been born, miles and decades apart? How could he believe that he had found his partner in me, if he didn't believe in destiny?

"I live with Alice. It's hard to take the future very seriously with her around!"

I didn't laugh. It was kind of sad to hear Edward refusing to believe that any power had led us to each other. "I believe that we're meant to be together."

Edward smiled. I was glad that I'd told him the fairy story (and very glad that I hadn't told him my real favourite: Little Red Riding Hood; he'd hate to hear that I'd always felt sorry for the wolf). "I believe in you, Bella," he said.

"What was your favourite story?" I wondered if it would be one that I knew. Fairy stories hadn't changed much over the years, they were a good idea of his, really. Fairy stories were one of the few things that our childhoods had in common.

"I'll tell you tonight, before you go to sleep."

"Oh, no, you're not getting out of it that easily. I coming with you tonight."

"Coming where with me tonight?"

I couldn't believe that he'd really forgotten. It was probably just his next attempt to weasel his way out of taking me. If he wouldn't take me, I would ask Emmett, or Jake, they wouldn't insist that I stayed at home and slept while everyone else prepared for the big fight. "To the second meeting with the wolves."

"I'm not going." He spoke so casually, I wasn't sure that we were really talking about the same thing.

"What?"

Edward frowned, his good mood had completely vanished again. "I fail to see why that would upset you. I have already discussed it with Jasper and he's quite sure that he will manage well enough without my services as interpreter. They don't require my presence and you do require more sleep. So, I'm not going."

"Well, actually that might be a good thing," I said hesitantly. On the one hand, this sounded like the perfect time to broach the idea of him missing the fight. If he was happy to miss the training, perhaps he wouldn't mind missing the real thing. On the other hand, he didn't seem very happy with me. Maybe he wasn't in the right mood to be asked a huge favour. "Um . . . Edward, there's something that I wanted to ask you."

"Anything, Bella."

"Good. I want to ask you not to go on Saturday."

"What do you mean?"

Now that I'd started I just had to finish. I couldn't wimp out now. "I don't want you to fight the newborns. I want you to stay with me."

Edward stared at me. He seemed to be trying, very hard, to read my mind. Finally he slumped in defeat, "I don't understand, Bella. Are you afraid?"

If I'd just said 'yes, I'm afraid that a newborn vampire will get past your family and the pack of werewolves and will kill me', I think Edward would have agreed to stay with me. But, I couldn't lie to him. "Not exactly," I said. Because I was scared, but not in the way he meant. I was terrified that Edward was going to die, not that I was.

"It's okay to be scared," he said softly, "anyone in your position is entitled to feel terrified."

"I'm scared that something will happen to you," I said.

"Something?" he asked, smiling slightly, as if I'd somehow said more than I understood, "are you scared that anything in particular will happen?"

"I'm scared that you'll be hurt. Edward, this is serious. Do you remember when I went to La Push and Alice couldn't see me and you were so worried and angry? Well, now she can't see you, and now I'm worried and she's worried. I don't want you doing anything dangerous, I want you to stay safe."

Edward groaned, "Alice can't see me," he repeated, as if it were just a minor annoyance, "that's just great."

"Do you know why it's happened?"

Edward stared at me. He opened his mouth, as if he were about to say something. Then he seemed to change his mind. He closed his mouth again and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't do this," he said. His voice was strained. He sounded angry and worried.

Alice appeared in the doorway and Jasper appeared at Edward's side. They both looked grim. "Come on, Bella," Alice said, "I'll take you home and Jazz will take Edward out for a hunt." For the first time I noticed how dark Edward's eyes were. I was surprised; had they been that dark all day? No wonder he was grouchy.

"Will I see Edward tonight?" I asked Alice. Then I instantly regretted it when I saw her face fall. We were all so used to Alice knowing these things. It was hard to remember that she couldn't answer me. "Sorry," I said, a little bit too late, "I forgot."

Alice and I walked down the stairs. "Emmett's going to try and talk to Edward," she said as I buckled up my seatbelt. "Then there's only Rose left. If he won't talk to them, I don't know what we'll do."

"What about Esme and Carlisle?"

Alice shook her head and drove down the drive. "They came to your house last night, while you were sleeping. Edward wouldn't or couldn't quite manage to explain the problem to them. They're as confused as we are. He doesn't seem to want to talk to anyone."

"I wish that someone could read his mind," I said and Alice smiled tightly. It wasn't funny.

"Alice?"

"Oh, Bella, no!" she interrupted me, but that wasn't what I wanted, I had to say this out loud I had to know that Alice was really answering my question. I didn't want to rely on her foresight to hear me.

"Alice, do you think that he's planning on leaving me again? That would explain why he's been acting so strangely and why he can't tell anyone. He's embarrassed and worried that you'll be mad at him."

Alice turned to look at me, and I hoped she couldn't see the tears that were pushing at the edges of my eyes. She was kind enough not to mention them. "Bella, he loves you. I am still sure of that. I don't know what's wrong with him, and I don't know why he can't tell us, and I don't know why I can't see him anymore. But, I know this, I know he still loves you!"

Oh, how I wished that was true. How I wish love could be absolutely certain.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own the rights to the 'Twilight' series and I wasn't involved in writing the books or in converting them to a screenplays. However, on the Fanfiction website, people like me get to play with new possibilities for stories that they enjoyed, and that's what I've done here.

That night I had a new dream.

I dreamt that Edward and I were lying side by side in our meadow. I turned to look at him and I noticed that he wasn't moving. He wasn't even blinking. It was frightening. I reached out my hand to touch his face. But he jumped up and leapt away. I cried out, afraid that he was going to leave me. Then, Edward turned into a wolf.

I woke up screaming, and found Edward's arms around me.

"Another nightmare?" he asked.

"Yes, it was weird. We were in the meadow and you weren't moving. Then . . . you were a wolf."

"Really?" Edward seemed bizarrely pleased. Then he remembered himself and said, "are you alright?"

"Of course, it was only a dream."

I tried to settle back down, but, Edward pulled me up again. "Bella," he said seriously, "do you think that dreams mean anything? That they might be your subconscious' way of trying to tell you something?"

I yawned hugely and twisted my head to see the clock. It was three in the morning. Since when did Edward want to chat in the middle of the night?

"I have to sleep," I said.

He frowned, he almost looked as though he was angry with me for wanting to sleep, "this is important."

My pillow looked so soft and inviting. "Talking about dreams is important?"

"It's important to me." Edward didn't look angry anymore. He looked sad.

"Alright," I said, "if it's important to you, then it's important to me. What do you want to talk about?"

"Do you think that dreams are a message from your subconscious?"

"No, I don't." I wondered where he was going with this. Had I said something strange in my sleep? Was he going to claim that something I said while I was dreaming had a huge significance?

"I do. I think that your dream might be really important. Tell it to me again."

Maybe this was some weird kind of vampire joke. "You do know that I need to sleep, right?"

"Please, Bella."

This was the most he'd spoken to me all day. Why on earth did he decide to get chatty in the middle of the night?

"Alright, we were in our meadow, we were lying next to each other, you weren't moving, I reached out to touch you and you turned into a wolf. It was weird and freaky and it scared me. But it's over now, I'm awake and you're fine. What would the secret message be, exactly? That I want to go to our meadow tomorrow? That I think it's freaky when you don't blink?"

He seemed genuinely confused, "I blink," he said.

"You didn't blink yesterday, when you were watching the wolves. Didn't you notice?"

Edward groaned and threw himself back on the bed, "please, can we talk more about your dream? What else might it mean?"

Since he was lying down again, I was going to settle back down onto my bed. But he sprang back up and sat next to me, holding me in a sitting position. He wasn't going to let me go back to sleep until he was satisfied with the dream conversation. "Can't you just tell me your idea?"

"Please, think, Bella, please!"

"I don't know, Edward, I'm sorry. Um . . . does it mean that I secretly hate the wolves, and don't want to see Jacob anymore? Is that what you want to hear?"

He sighed heavily. "Maybe you should write the dream down. Then you could look at it again tomorrow."

"Alright, if that will make you feel better. Maybe I'll be able to work it out when I'm not so tired."

Almost instantly, he thrust a pen and a notepad into my hand. I scrawled my dream down. "Now, can I go back to sleep?"

Edward's shoulders sagged and he looked defeated. "I am sorry for keeping you awake," he said, "I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't so important."

"It's fine, I'm sure we'll work it all out in the morning." I lay back down and Edward wrapped his arm around my waist. He stroked my hair gently. Hearing me sigh in satisfaction, he continued to stroke, keeping a slow and gentle rhythm Edward lay next to me, stroking my hair until I fell back to sleep.

I wish that I could have had a lie in. I was exhausted. But, I was woken up before seven, by a loud hammering on the door.

"You should ignore it and go back to sleep."

Groggy from sleep, I couldn't understand why Edward was being so rude. Manners were usually so important to him. I pulled on a robe and staggered downstairs, leaving him lying flat on my bed.

Whoever was at the door was pretty impatient; they kept up a constant hammering while I stumbled through the house. I tried calling out to let them know I was on the way, but they probably couldn't hear me over their own noise.

It was Jacob. I pulled my robe closer around me. "Do you know what time it is?"

He stared at me, "no," he said, "wolves don't wear watches. But, you should be up, Bells, you're missing the best part of the day."

I yawned at him, "what are you doing here, anyway?"

He frowned, "is Edward here?"

I stretched my arm across the door – stupid, I know, what was I going to do if Jacob tried to push past me? But, maybe he wouldn't want to push me – at least symbolically, I barred his entry. Whatever he wanted with Edward it couldn't be good. Weren't they supposed to be mortal enemies?

Jacob grinned, "I'm not going to hurt him, not this time." Then he smirked and yelled into my house, "Edward! Come out, come out wherever you are!"

Instantly, Edward was at my back. He noticed my arm, still forming a weak barrier across the doorway. He bent his head and kissed my hand softly. Then he scowled at Jacob, "you've taken over," he said angrily.

"Taken over what?" I said.

"Not important," Jacob told me, glaring at Edward. It was insane. How could Edward and Jacob have a shared secret?

I turned to my boyfriend, hoping for an explanation, but he merely shrugged. It was as though he couldn't tell me because Jacob didn't want him to. Sometimes Edward's idea of manners made no sense to me at all. Why would he do what Jacob wanted rather than what I wanted?

"You weren't there last night," Jacob said to Edward, "I was wondering why. I had hoped that you'd gone back to Italy, but I suppose I'm out of luck."

"Jacob Black! That's a ghastly thing to say!"

"It's alright, Edward wasn't offended, were you, Eddie?"

The tension between them was terrifying. In front of me was a werewolf, behind me was a vampire. I had never been more aware of their strength than I was at this moment. While Jacob teased Edward, and only my arm lay between them. I was momentarily thankful that it was my left arm. At least I would still be able to write when it was ripped off.

Edward scowled at the sound of his nickname, he hated anyone calling him Eddie, but I had no idea why Jacob would know that. None the less, Edward replied smoothly, "I assume that was your attempt at polite small talk, Chief Black, I'm sure that you will improve with practice. Why don't you just tell me what it is that you want? You woke Bella up, and I think that she would appreciate being left to rest."

"Maybe we should continue this discussion elsewhere."

It should have sounded like a reasonable request. But, there was something in Jacob's tone that sounded almost threatening. I remembered what the wolves had done to Laurent and, though I'm sure Edward would have defended himself, I shivered, "I'd rather you stayed here, where I can keep an eye on you," I said, "I don't want this turning into a fight."

Jacob was still smiling broadly, but there was a slight tightening around his eyes. "No fight," he agreed, "Edward, this is the thing, I think that you should leave Bella alone."

I expected Edward to laugh, or to yell. Perhaps I expected him to start the fight that I'd been so anxious to prevent. What I didn't expect was what happened. He removed his arm from around my waist and said, "I understand; Bella, it would be best if I left now. Will you, please, think about what we were discussing last night? I love you."

I stared at him in disbelief. He was leaving? Because Jacob had suggested it?

"No way! You're not going anywhere. Do you two think I'm stupid? You'll leave, sneak off somewhere and then you'll have this fight that I can see you're both itching to start. No. I won't allow it."

"I'll stay," Jacob grinned, "then you'll know that nothing is happening. But, honestly, Bells, I would have thought that you could trust me at least. Have I ever lied to you?"

I was leaning against the door frame now, so that I could see both of their faces at the same time. My left arm still lay between them and it was starting to ache. Jacob was stood casually, grinning broadly. Edward was more tense, he was watching Jacob carefully, at least he was still blinking.

"That's settled, then, see you around, Edward."

Edward took me in his arms and pressed his lips hard against mine. He kissed me with a new recklessness, a new desperation that I had never felt from him before. He pressed his mouth against mine so hard that it seemed to change the shape of my lips. He held onto me and I felt his tongue – his cool, hard tongue, dart against my lips. Eagerly, I opened for him. His kiss continued, his tongue slowly stroking the inside of my upper lip. When he pulled away he left this imprint of his kiss behind. It was lucky that I was already leaning against the door frame, I sagged against it, completely dazzled.

"I love you, Bella, I have always loved you and I always will," Edward breathed softly into my ear, "please, please try to understand me."

Then he was gone, and it was just me and Jacob.

Had I known how long it was going to be before I saw Edward again, I would never have let him go. I would certainly have made that kiss a bit longer. I might even have forced him to explain to me what was going on. But, I didn't know. I thought that he would be back that night. I thought that I would have hours and hours and days and days to talk to him and find out what was upsetting him. I didn't know how long we were saying goodbye for. So I didn't treasure that last kiss as I should have done. Instead, I paid attention to Jacob!

I noticed that Jacob was staring at me and I felt instantly guilty for kissing Edward like that in front of him. True, he knew that I loved Edward, but that didn't mean it was fair to rub his face in it!

While I was still wondering whether I ought to apologise, or whether that would just make it worse, Jacob said, "are you getting dressed today, or what?"

I was still wearing a robe and pjs! I felt that customary heat rush to my head and knew I must be as glowing red by now. I slammed the front door shut.

"Make yourself at home, Jake, I won't be long." I ran up the stairs, tripped, and scrambled the rest of the way. Jacob, thankfully, just shut up. I think he knew that I wasn't in the mood to be laughed at right now.

I dressed as quickly as I could, though I didn't skip the shower, I didn't fancy a load of jokes about vampire scent clinging to my hair. My eye was caught by the scribbled notes about my dream. I wished that I could understand why Edward was so interested in it. What was it supposed to mean?

Jacob had taken me at my word, as I walked down the stairs, my nose was filled with the delicious smell of waffles cooking.

"Hungry, Bells?" he greeted me.

"Sure, is some of that for me?"

Jake frowned at the steaming plate in front of him. "Well, I could spare one or two, I suppose, since it is your kitchen. But, I'm pretty hungry myself."

I giggled, "Jake, you're always hungry. Thank goodness you can cook!"

"What do you have to go on them?"

I began searching through the cupboards, "Syrup?" I offered, "chocolate sauce, bananas, jelly, peanut butter, marshmallows, cream?" I passed the foodstuffs over to Jake as I found them, expecting him to choose something he wanted.

When I turned around again, to ask if there was anything Jake fancied amongst my offerings, I burst out laughing. He'd piled it all on top of his waffles and was sat there with whipped cream all round his mouth, already halfway through the huge plate that he'd made.

"It's good," he said with a grin, "sorry I didn't wait. I like to eat them while they're still hot."

"Yeah, I'm like that with popcorn, it just doesn't taste the same when it's cold."

I sat down and poured some syrup over my own waffles.

"Next time I take you to the movies, I'll remember that," he said.

"These are great, Jake, thanks. Hang on, what do you mean, next time you take me to the movies?"

Jake had almost finished his waffles and now he was carefully sweeping the last pieces around the plate, sopping up every splash of jelly and dribble of cream. "You owe me a date," he grinned, "I fixed up those bikes and we never got our date. Don't tell me that you think that aborted trip where the guy puked everywhere counts."

I giggled, remembering our doomed trip to the cinema. "Alright," I said, "we can try again, it could be fun. No date-talk though, we're just friends, right?"

"Well, I'm your friend," he said, "didn't you promise me everlasting servitude or something in exchange for a box of candy?"

I'd forgotten about that: the life I had before Edward tried to kill himself, then I brought him back from a den of killer vampires. In the midst of all that pain and suffering and missing Edward, Jake and I had fun. "That's true, I sold myself pretty cheap there."

"Yeah, you should have held out, I would probably have gone up to three boxes."

Hanging out with Jake was fantastic. He cooked and he ate. It was nice not to be the only human around for once. And Jake made me laugh. So long as we avoided talking about wolves or vampires, Jake was perfect company. That was fine by me, I didn't want to talk about wolves today and Edward had been acting so strangely that I was becoming rather fed up with vampires too!

We agreed to go to the cinema the next evening. I did wonder whether Edward would be annoyed, but that wouldn't make much difference at the moment, he was never exactly happy! Jake very reasonably said that Edward could come along if he wanted, so it's not as though I was arranging something furtive.

Jake hung around all day. He ate a lot and I laughed a lot. I checked my cell a few times, but Edward never even texted.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I didn't write the 'Twilight' series, but I wrote this. None of this actually happens in the books.

Edward didn't come over that night. He didn't answer my phone calls. I left two messages, trying to sound calm and normal.

The first message said: Edward, it's Bella, could you call me back as soon as you get this, please?

The second message, left several hours later, when I realised that he wasn't going to call me said: Edward, it's Bella and I'm worried about you. If you're busy or cross or something, that's ok. I just want to hear that you're safe. Please call me. I love you.

I forced myself to stop leaving messages after that. I didn't want him to pick up a phone full of tearful pleas from me.

I lay in bed on my own, wondering how I had ever slept without him, how I was going to sleep without him tonight.

I waited until one in the morning, but he didn't show up. Eventually I fell asleep with a book on my face.

I woke up and Edward still wasn't there. Even though we never did a lot together, my body was accustomed to the feel of his body. My waist ached to feel his cold, hard arm around it. My cheek felt hot and uncomfortable without his cold kiss.

My bed was warm, with no cold, hard patches. I got out of it and shuffled into the bathroom to shower. I stood under the warm water, and felt too hot. I turned it down, and down, and down, until I was standing under cold, hard bullets of water. That felt nice.

I stayed under the cold water for a long time, watching my skin glistening, wondering how long he had left me for this time.

I might have stayed there forever, if I hadn't suddenly wondered if he might phone while I was in the shower. That got me moving.

I leapt from the shower, dried myself off roughly, and ran back to my room. I dived for my cell. There it was: three missed calls!

I pressed through to check who they were from, why hadn't they left any messages?

Alice.

Jasper.

Emmett.

I groaned.

I threw the cell across the room. How dare it tease me like that? Why would I want to speak to anyone but Edward?

Stupid, useless phone. Didn't it know that it's one use was to get me in touch with Edward?

I should get another one. Actually, I might have to get another one. I looked around to find it, half-expecting to see it in pieces. I shouldn't have thrown it, it was a gift from him.

Guiltily, I searched the floor, finally unearthing it under my bed. Still smugly together.

That did give me an idea, though, perhaps Edward's phone was broken and it had been him calling me on his siblings' phones.

I pulled on some clothes, not really noticing what they were, and called Edward back on Emmett's phone.

It was Emmett who answered "hey, Bella, I win! You wanted to speak to me most!"

I didn't have time for small-talk, "is Edward there?"

Emmett's cheer vanished, "he's not with you?"

"Can't Alice see that?"

There was a cracking noise, and then Alice was on the phone, "you were in the shower, obviously he wasn't in there with you. When was the last time you saw him?"

"Yesterday afternoon. Alice he didn't answer my calls. Where is he?"

There was a very long pause. "I don't know," she said, "we haven't seen him at all. He's gone missing."

"Have you looked for him?"

"Of course we've looked! His scent is so strong all over this area, we keep following old trails and ending up with nothing. I keep trying, but I can't get a glimpse of him anywhere."

"My God, Alice, do you mean that he's . . ." I couldn't say it aloud.

"No, probably not. I haven't been able to see him properly for days, remember. It could mean nothing. I have to go, Bella, I want to keep trying."

"Alice, wait, wait, Alice, I want to help."

But she'd hung up the phone.

I did consider calling back, either Alice, or Emmett, or even Jasper. But, it didn't seem worth it. Instead, I found some shoes, and got in my truck. I'd rather be there, with the rest of the Cullens. Surely there was something that I could do to help.

I found the front door open, so I wandered in. Alice was stood halfway up the stairs with her eyes closed. Esme was on the phone, talking too fast for me to understand, so I guess it wasn't to a human. Nobody else was in the house.

It was a bit awkward. I didn't like to interrupt Esme or Alice, so I just stood and waited. Soon enough Esme ended her phone call and greeted me with a smile.

"It's good to see you, dear. Do you have any news? Where did he say he was going yesterday?"

I thought back. "He didn't say," I told her, "at least, I don't remember him saying anything. He . . . he told me that he loved me and always would. Oh, do you think he's left?"

Esme sighed, "I don't know. I was on the phone to some friends of ours. When Edward left before, he went there, but, they haven't seen him. They'll call if he shows up. Emmett, Jasper and Rose are all out trying to track him, but they're not having much luck."

"Where's Carlisle?"

"At the hospital. We thought that was the best place for him to overhear any gossip. If anyone's seen anything strange, if . . . if Edward's been involved in an accident, then the hospital will hear about it sooner or later."

An accident? What did Esme mean? Edward was a vampire, he didn't have accidents. Then, I realised, she hadn't said he would be in an accident, she'd said 'been involved'. Carlisle was waiting in the hospital in case a human showed up with signs of having been attacked by a vampire. They were wondering if Edward had killed someone and run away.

"Is there anything that I can do?"

Esme looked flustered, "it's so kind of you to offer, dear. Um . . . perhaps it would be best if you were at home. You know, in case he comes there. I've got a few more . . . friends that I can call. If you think of anywhere he might of gone, let us know."

She picked the phone back up, and began to dial.

I realised that I was just in the way. There was nothing that I could usefully do. I was too slow. I couldn't 'track' anyone. I didn't know where Edward would have gone. I'd only ever known him in Forks. I'd only known him for a few short months.

For the first time I realised quite how slight my connection to the Cullens and to Edward really was. I didn't even know where they'd been living before they came to Forks. I had no idea where in the world Edward would run to.

It took a crisis for me to realise that I wasn't a Cullen at all. I was a Swan. Alone, I was Bella Swan.

Miserably, I drove back to my house.

I went up to my empty room and the tears surprised me. I hadn't realised that I'd been nursing any hope at all on the drive over. But, when I got to my room and found that he wasn't there, I couldn't stop crying.

The tears just kept coming. I cried for so long that I went downstairs to get myself a glass of water. I wasn't sure that I had enough liquid inside me to keep up this amount of crying.

My window was open, and I went over to it repeatedly, leaning out as far as I could and scanning the yard. But, I never saw Edward.

I checked my cell again and again. I plugged it in to charge. At one point I turned it off and on again, in case it wasn't working properly.

I tried calling it from the house phone, but the call came through fine.

I was forced to admit that there was nothing wrong with my phone. Edward simply wasn't calling me. And nor were any of the other Cullens.

Over and over again I thought about the last time I'd seen him. He had been so obsessed with that stupid dream, making me write it down, making me promise to think about it. Yet, the dream was meaningless.

Edward turning into a wolf. What was that supposed to mean?

Just before I'd found out that Jacob was a werewolf, I'd had a very similar dream about him. But, that was different. That time, I was remembering the stories he'd told me. I was realising something that my unconscious mind had already worked out. Jacob was actually a werewolf.

Edward wasn't a werewolf, he was a vampire. Everyone knew that.

So, why did he think my dream meant anything at all?

Well, Edward thought that wolves were horrible, monsters, his enemies. Did he think that my dream meant that I thought of him as a monster? Is that why he'd run away?

Surely he should know by now that I loved him, and none of the mythical stuff bothered me.

I made myself a cup of coffee and stood in the kitchen stirring the spoon around and around. The spoon clinked against the side of the cup.

'Clink', it went, 'clink, clink, clink'. And everytime it clinked I thought 'where is he? Where is he?'

'Clink, clink'.

Then, suddenly there was another noise, my phone was ringing. I ran to it and grabbed it desperately. The Caller ID said Alice, but I was still hopeful as I picked it up and said "hello?"

Even if it wasn't him, she might be calling with news of him.

"I'm sorry," Alice said, "we haven't found him yet. We're having a family meeting at six. You should be here. And, you should eat, Bella. Don't distract me with visions of you fainting."

"Sorry, Alice. I'll be there at six."

I looked at my watch. It was two in the afternoon. I ought to eat lunch.

I was just staring at a cheese and pickle sandwich, wondering what was the quickest way to force it into my mouth, when my phone rang again.

This time it was only Jake. "Hey, Bells," he sounded indecently cheerful, "what time can I pick you up tonight?"

"You can't," I said, then realised that sounded a little harsh, "something's happened. Edward's gone missing and the Cullens are having a family meeting."

"How can he go missing? Isn't he a grown man? Besides, can't the witch-one see him?"

"Jake! Don't you dare call Alice a witch! No, she can't see him. She hasn't been able to see him for days. He's missing because we don't know where he is and he isn't returning anyone's calls."

"He's probably just sulking," Jake said, "why does that mean that you can't go out?"

"Jake! I'm worried about him and his family is worried about him. Can't you at least pretend to be a decent person?"

Jacob sighed heavily, "I'm sorry, Bells. I just think that you're worrying about nothing. I am sure that he'll turn up sometime tomorrow, or maybe the day after, with a broken phone and a lame excuse. Then you'll forgive him and everything will go back to normal. Can't you just take advantage of his absence and spend a pleasant evening with me?"

"No."

"Fine," Jake decided to try a different tack, "go to the 'family meeting' and I'll get the pack to have a look around. The guy stinks, he won't be that hard to find. Then, if I bring him back to you, and you see that you've all panicked about nothing, will you go out with me tomorrow?"

I was really grateful that Jake would do that for me, that he would try to find Edward, even though he hated him, just to stop me worrying. "Thank you, Jake, for saying that you'd look for him."

Jake laughed, "if I find him, I get a date, right?"

"If you find him you can have whatever you want!"

Jake laughed again and hung up.

It was a little bit easier to eat now. Jacob's confidence was infectious. He seemed so sure that Edward would turn up. I began to imagine Edward's return. I tried to think of what his explanation might be, but I kept drawing a blank.

Broken phone? That only explained the lack of phone calls.

Hunting? Where could he have gone that would take so long, and why didn't he tell anyone before he went?

Whatever had happened, it wasn't like Edward to just disappear without telling his family. Maybe Esme had the right idea. Maybe Edward had found another person whose blood he couldn't resist, or he'd found someone injured. Maybe he was gone because he'd killed a human and couldn't face the rest of his family.

Time dragged its feet.

I felt useless and lonely and bored and tired.

Even though Jake was sure that Edward would be back soon, I wasn't quite happy. Even before he'd left, Edward had been acting strangely. He'd been difficult to talk to.

It all seemed to hinge on the wolves. Maybe Edward's jealousy was getting out of hand. Perhaps I shouldn't have agreed to go out with Jacob.

But, I was only going to go out with Jacob if he found Edward.

I wondered if the wolves had an advantage in trying to track Edward. Jacob had complained enough about his scent. Perhaps the scent of a vampire was more intense to a werewolf. Perhaps the Pack could track him, even though his family couldn't.

Finally, it was half five, and I figured that I could head for the Cullens' house. I couldn't stand being by myself for a moment longer. I was going to go crazy.

The Cullens' house didn't feel the same as usual. There was a dull atmosphere. The Cullens all looked more unreal than normal, as if they were so distracted by Edward's disappearance that they'd forgotten to look human.

Alice was still standing halfway up the stairs. Jasper was two steps below her. He wasn't looking at Alice, though. He wasn't really looking at anyone. He was just standing, like a robot that had been switched off.

Emmett and Rosalie were together, talking quietly in the doorway to the lounge.

Carlisle and Esme had opened the door to me, and they were trying to smile, but it didn't convince.

"No news," I said, though I knew that nothing had changed by the stress and worry that was lining the vampires' perfect faces.

Carlisle shook his head, "not yet. Shall we sit?"

He didn't raise his voice at all, but the whole family responded, gliding quickly into the dining room and taking their seats. The chair next to me was heavy with emptiness.

"Bella, you were the last of us to see Edward, tell me everything you remember."

So, I told Carlisle. I kept backtracking and remembering details in the wrong order. But, the Cullens listened quietly and nodded. They pieced the story together.

There was silence once I'd finished. I think that they had all been hoping that I would have something new to add, which would solve the mystery. It was now apparent that I hadn't.

"The dream," Jasper said, "it sounds as though Edward thought that was important. Do you have what you wrote?"

I pulled the crumpled scrap from my pocket and handed it over.

Jasper read it and passed it around the family.

Then there was more silence.

"It all seems to hinge on the wolves," Jasper spoke again, "he started withdrawing from us after the first meeting with the wolves. Then there was his fascination with Bella's dream about a wolf."

"He wouldn't talk about them at all," Rosalie said, "when I asked him anything about the wolves, he got angry and shouted."

"What did he shout?" Carlisle asked, "to me, he responded with utter silence."

"He said: I literally cannot talk about it."

I stared at Rosalie. Those words rang a bell. What was it?

"Literally?" I asked her.

She nodded, "my memory's fine, that's precisely what he said."

"When Jacob first became a wolf," I mused, suddenly making the connection in my own mind, "he was literally unable to tell me about it. Sam – he's the Alpha wolf, the one in charge – gave him an order and Jake was physically unable to disobey it."

"Are you suggesting that Edward has been ordered not to speak of the wolves? Who by? Do you think that he's a wolf now?"

The blush curled up my cheeks and around my ears. Rosalie was right. It was a stupid thought. I wasn't helping at all.

Jasper, picked up on my embarrassment, and said "let's go back to the anger. Edward didn't really agree with accepting the wolves' help in the first place. Perhaps that's what he's angry about."

"We didn't have any better options," Alice protested.

"I'm not saying that we shouldn't be teaming up with the Pack; I'm saying that, for personal reasons, Edward was more strongly against it that anyone else."

"You're suggesting that he is withdrawing from us all, because he feels unable to support us in the course that we have chosen" Carlisle said.

Jasper nodded.

"In which case," Carlisle continued, "we could expect him to return after the fight."

"It would make sense for Edward to be silent rather than disagree openly," Esme put in, "I don't remember ever hearing him argue against Carlisle. Perhaps he would rather not speak at all, than condemn a decision that the rest of the family has made."

It made perfect sense. How typical of me to assume that all Edward's worries revolved around me. Of course he had thoughts of other things. He could easily be backing off because he wanted some distance from his family.

"He has done something similar before," Esme added, as an afterthought. I remembered the story, rather than staying and arguing with Carlisle about the morality of hunting humans, Edward had chosen to live alone.

Rosalie frowned, "but, that only explains why he's gone and not answering his phone. Why can't Alice see him?"

"It's not impossible to hide from Alice," Carlisle said, "everyone has done it for a short period of time. Perhaps Edward has just got better at it."

"When I told him that Alice couldn't see him anymore," I said, "he didn't sound upset."

Alice frowned, "Edward knows my gift better than anyone else. I suppose, if there's a loop-hole, he would be the one to find it."

"When he gets back; I'll have to get him to tell me how it's done!" Emmett grinned.

"If Edward has chosen to leave, then I suppose our course of action is just to wait until he chooses to return," Carlisle said.

"I still don't like it. It's a good explanation; but it might be the wrong one. What if he hasn't chosen to go; what if something's happened to him?" Rosalie asked.

"We keep looking," Jasper said, "if he isn't back after the fight with the newborns, then we put together a proper search party and we track him down."

The family all agreed. Their moods seemed to have lifted slightly in the course of the meeting. Now they moved on to discuss the practicalities of the fight, and my protection during it.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I didn't write the 'Twilight' series.

Jake hadn't found Edward. Instead of taking me out to the cinema, he'd gone out looking for him. I was absurdly grateful. I knew that Jacob would far rather Edward never turned up, but, for me, to make me happy, and to set my mind at ease, Jacob was willing to try and hunt down Edward. Unfortunately, he hadn't found him.

Edward had gone. He'd left me, again.

He'd promised me that he wouldn't ever leave me again.

Yet here we were, expecting a huge battle at any moment, and suddenly Edward vanished. This time it wasn't only me that he was deserting, it was his family as well and, though he probably didn't care at all, it was the wolves. A newborn army was coming and Edward had disappeared rather than staying to fight them.

I tried not to bother the Cullens too much. After the family meeting, I got the feeling that they didn't really think I was any help. Alice said that they were all hoping Edward would return after the fight. She tried to convince me that a few days wasn't a big deal in vampire-time. I suspected that they were still looking for Edward, and didn't think that I needed to know about it.

It didn't matter which phone I rang, it was only Alice who ever spoke to me. Even she kept the conversations short. I think that the family were beginning to think of me as Edward's Ex-Girlfriend. By the time the newborn army were supposed to attack, I was beginning to wonder if I was Edward's Ex-Girlfriend. It seemed stupid to imagine that Victoria would still want to kill me. How could she be foolish enough to believe that I would still matter to Edward? Didn't she get the memo?

When we'd originally made our plan, I'd assumed that Edward would come with me, walking far enough away not to mix our scents, while I laid the trail that would hopefully lure the newborn army to the clearing. Since Edward didn't turn up, Jacob said that he would look after me.

Jacob insisted on driving us to the beginning of the false trail. He was so pleased with that car of his, he wanted to drive everywhere. I wondered if he badgered the other wolves into riding in it with him, just like he badgered me. I liked the image of Sam curled into the front seat, while Quil and Embry were crammed into the back. It would be like a herd of giraffes, trying to get comfortable in a jacuzzi

Then I regretted the thought, it made the car feel smaller. It was as though the car doors were pushing Jacob and me closer together, forcing us to get into one another's personal space. It was getting dark outside, which made it feel as though we were in a sealed capsule. I unwound the window and Jacob frowned.

"It's pretty cold out there, Bells."

"I thought that didn't bother you any more. Don't you wolves have an inbuilt radiator?" He certainly didn't need to worry about turning on the heating in his car.

"I was thinking about you. Do you want to catch something before you go camping overnight?"

"You never know, it might put the newborn vampires off me if I'm sneezing all over the place."

"I'm sure you're still tasty, Bells, even with a cold, don't worry."

"Yuck! Jacob!"

Edward used to say that I smelt 'delicious'. He claimed that I had a 'bouquet'. He would never have said that I was 'tasty'. I missed him.

The cold wind blew in through the window, and my spine shivered. I didn't want to admit that Jacob was right, but the car was getting cold. My teeth were beginning to clack together of their own accord. So I wound up the window, sealing myself into the little metal box with Jacob.

Jake chuckled.

I felt queasy, right down to the pit of my stomach. Maybe it was the reminder of the last time Jacob and I had been in the car together, coming back from the cinema (which was, coincidentally, the last time that I had been in the cinema at all. Edward and I didn't go on that sort of date). Maybe it was the realisation that each passing minute brought us closer to the moment when Jacob – and everyone else I knew – might be killed. Whatever it was, I felt sick.

"You don't look right."

"I feel sick."

Sick isn't really Jacob's forte. He furtively eyed the window. I think that he wished that I would re-open it, but didn't like to say so. He didn't want to say: Bella, I would rather you freeze than throw up in my car. When we parked, Jacob opened my door, his arm hovering just under my elbow, as if he was thinking of steadying me, but didn't want to treat me as an old lady unnecessarily.

"I hope you're not really ill, Bella. We can change things, if we need."

We probably couldn't call the approaching army and ask them to come back when I was feeling less sick. "I'll be fine. Let's just lay the trail."

Jake walked about twenty paces away from me, while I laid the false trail to the clearing. Then he picked me up and carried me on his back to an empty space in the middle of nowhere.

"I'll stay with you tonight," he said, "then Seth will be here to watch over you tomorrow morning."

I helped Jake to put up a tent. Then I lay down and tried to rest.

All I could think about was Edward. Where was he? Why had he gone? None of the Cullens seemed to have any more clues than I did. Alice said that he'd been hunting with Jasper, not even that far out, and then, suddenly, he'd run off. Jasper combed the area but he found no clues. The only supernatural scents were of the Cullens and the wolves.

They would probably lie to me if they thought that was best for Edward. But his family all seemed as unhappy and confused as I was. Either they really didn't know where he was, or they were very good at acting. Rosalie didn't bother trying to conceal her hatred. She was convinced it was my fault that Edward had gone AWOL.

She was probably right. He hadn't told anyone that was why he was going, but I think it was obvious. He'd already run away from his family twice because of me. Now that he'd run away again, it was pretty easy to guess who he was running from.

Even Alice couldn't look me in the eye and say that she was sure it wasn't my fault. She was my best friend, she knew that I would do absolutely anything for Edward, but even she wasn't sure that I hadn't done something so wrong that he'd had to run.

I didn't understand. If he wanted to break up with me, he could have done it. I wouldn't have made a nuisance of myself. I wouldn't have tried to get revenge. I would just have let him break my heart, again.

The tent was cold and I was alone in it. I shivered. It was the kind of persistent cold that actually hurts. My legs were seizing up and my fingers were aching. I tucked my knees up to my chin, but there wasn't enough warmth in me. However small I made myself, there wasn't enough heat to go around.

Suddenly the tent flap opened, making me scream.

"Nice greeting, Bells. I thought you might be cold."

"I'm freezing."

He nodded and sat down next to me.

His body was so hot that it warmed the air around him. I edged closer, like a cat seeking the warmest spot in a room.

Jake watched me move, then he grinned and put his arm around me, tugging me close against his side. It was bliss. After shivering in my freezing sleeping bag, alone, cuddling up to Jacob was like coming into a warm room and getting a good seat next to the fire.

"You're warm."

He smiled at me, reminding me that I had once thought of him as a heavenly body. His body certainly felt heavenly now. He smelt of wood smoke. He was definitely a real fire, not one of those fake log frontispieces that they put in front of gas heaters.

He was soft, too, not soft with fat, but his flesh was real flesh rather than stone. I could feel his chest moving as he breathed. There was soft, human skin on his elbows and his knees. He was wearing an old sweater that had been through the machine many, many times. It had that cuddly, worn feeling that clothes get just before you wear so many holes in them that you have to throw them out. It was the kind of sweater that you enjoy wearing, the kind of sweater that makes you feel safe when it hugs you.

Jacob's breath in my hair was wet and hot. It had been in his body, being used in respiration. It carried water droplets that smelt of Jacob, and it filled my hair with his scent. Jacob was alive. I had never been pressed against the chest of a living man before. I had never before felt the beating of another man's heart against my back.

Being held so close to a living man stirred something primal inside me. I felt an animalistic desire to curl up with him, to press in closer. My mind knew that this was not Edward and that I shouldn't feel these desires, but my body was yearning to be touched and held.

With Edward, in his careful, adoring embraces, I had felt lust. I had thought that I knew what it felt like. Now I realised what an inexperienced girl I was. I had never before felt a pulsating male body warm and demanding against me. My desire for Edward was based on love. I loved him first, and only then did I begin to lust after him. I wanted to have his body because I already had his heart.

With Jacob, it was the opposite. I didn't love him – not in that way at least – but I lusted after him. My body (I was only now coming to sense it as a thing with urges of its own) wanted his body. When I felt his living, throbbing body behind me, I wanted to take it, to hold it, to squeeze it. My body was singing now. My body sensed the closeness of a male. My traitor body knew what Jacob could do for it and it wanted him.

"You should sleep."

"I'm too tired to sleep."

Jacob chuckled. "I bet I can get you to fall asleep in less than half an hour."

Sleep sounded good. If my body was asleep then the urges would go away and I wouldn't risk doing something that I would regret.

"What do you want to bet?"

"If I can do it, you give me a kiss: a proper kiss."

"And if you can't?"

"What do you want, Isabella Swan?"

I over-rode the panting, longing in my stomach and said "Find Edward."

He sighed, "I can't promise to do that."

"I know."

"But, I can promise to try. Do we have a deal?"

I grinned, "sure, Jacob. Do your worst, or your best, or, whatever."

He chuckled again. "Alright, it is now eleven ten. I will have you asleep by eleven forty." Then he began to stroke my hair with his hand. His warm fingers laced through my tangles. Gently, smoothly, he stroked and then, he began to sing. It was a low, humming song, with deep thrumming notes.

I couldn't make out the words, but after a while that stopped mattering. The lowest notes reverberated through my bones, making me feel like I was sat on top of a tumble dryer. My legs vibrated to the music, as if I was standing on a dance floor, feeling the beat coming up through my feet.

It wasn't a song for the ears, it was a song for the body. It spoke to my marrow and filled up my stomach. It settled me, making me feel as though I was heavy with song.

Daylight was filling the tent, when I realised that Jacob had won.

"Sleep well?"

I blushed bright red. "Er . . . yes . . . thank you. What was that song anyway?"

"My mum taught it to me. It is absolutely guaranteed to send anyone to sleep."

"It was lovely."

"What you heard of it!"

"Yeah. I was out pretty quick then?"

"Ten minutes, that's all it took. So, remember our deal?"

Of course I remembered, what an idiot I was! No wonder Edward left me.

"Please, Bella, that expression isn't very flattering. I won a kiss, not your soul. Do you really begrudge it that much?"

He looked pretty hurt. Way to go, Bella. You've already chased away Edward, are you sure that you want to chase away Jacob too? After all, the only thing that's ever been wrong with Jacob is that he isn't Edward. That's hardly his fault!

"Of course not, Jake, it's just that, well, there's Edward."

"Really, where?" He faked looking around, as if he thought Edward might be watching us. Then he looked back at me. "Are you going to welch on our bet?"

I sighed. He had a point. Jake saw my face change, and he knew that he was going to get his kiss. He leant in close. His breath was hot on my face, like a warm wind in summer, blowing through a forest.

The kiss was hot, and sticky. It was very unlike Edward's chaste, perfumed kisses. Jake was eager and cajoling. His tongue urging me to press closer.

It made me realise how long it had been since Edward has kissed me at all.

When Jacob pulled away it was to say, "Seth's here. I have to go. I'll see you afterwards, Bella. Stay safe."

How could I have forgotten about the battle?

"Jake, please take care of yourself."

He grinned, "of course, Bella. I'll defeat this lot of vampires and then I'll go and get your vampire back for you."

"Really?" Hadn't he won the bet?

"Yeah," he shrugged. "I'd have tried to get a kiss, even if I'd lost the bet. It's only fair that I look for the leech, even though I won." He strode off cheerfully, then called back from the edge of the clearing, "besides, how can you ditch him for me, if he isn't here?"


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I didn't write 'Twilight'.

When I looked back on the day of the Fight, I would remember only two things. I would remember that kiss and I would remember when Jacob reappeared and told me it was all over. I wouldn't remember the waiting, the horrible, tense waiting, when my stomach and intestines felt like they were being crocheted into a nasty scarf.

I tried not to look back on that day at all. It's strange to say that the worst bit was the aftermath. I had nightmares. Even though I hadn't seen anything, I had endless nightmares.

I had been alone with Seth throughout the battle. He was assigned to guard me and he didn't appreciate the assignment. He wanted to be at the heart of the fight, not stuck next to a nervous girl. It would have been good to see the Cullens at some point, but Jacob told me that they were 'clearing up' and he took me home himself. He said that none of them had been hurt. Leah had killed Victoria in the end. It sounded like Jacob had carried with him enough of my scent to entice Victoria towards him, where Leah had spied her and pounced. She'd needed help from Sam, but I am reliably informed that the kill was credited to her.

All this I heard after the event, from Jacob. All I saw at the time was Seth pacing and whimpering and barking. Jacob treated it all as one big joke. He laughed when he told me that Leah had got the leader, as though it was funny to think how easily this vampire had finally been slaughtered.

Foolishly, I'd expected Edward to reappear as soon as the fight was over. Once the Cullens were no longer in league with the wolves he would have no reason to stay away. I was wrong. I did everything but physically push Jacob out of my house (when he wanted to check that I was alright and not frightened); I was so eager to be wolf-free in the hopes that would bring Edward back.

"You wouldn't be pushing Edward out of the house," Jacob moaned, "you would let him fuss over you."

"He's my boyfriend."

He rolled his eyes, "are you sure about that, Bella? A gang of vampires came to town to kill you today, and he was nowhere to be seen."

I scowled and slammed the door in Jacob's face. I couldn't stand to hear him say such things about Edward, not when I was struggling so hard not to think them myself.

Then I sat in my room, facing the open window, watching and waiting. But, it was a waste of time. Edward didn't come back that day.

Nor the next.

Nor even the day after that.

Two and a half days after the Newborn Battle, my cell rang in the middle of the night.

Jacob was on the phone. "I've got a delivery for you," he said, "come outside."

After the way that he'd left me, I knew that he would only return in one circumstance. I sent Alice a four word text message. Then I pulled on my dressing-gown and padded down the stairs. I could see them through the glass of the front door. Jacob was stood calmly, and, next to him, slightly stooped, was Edward.

He was back.

He was standing on my front lawn at three in the morning, which was unusual. Edward used to be quite good at remaining inconspicuous. But, at least he was back.

I hesitated at the front door, wondering whether he would run away when I opened it. Should I be waiting for the Cullens to return before I approached Edward?

On the other hand, Edward must already know that I was here, and he wasn't running, so he probably didn't mind my presence. He wouldn't be outside my house at three in the morning if he didn't want to see me. Would he?

'Don't go near him!' came the reply from Alice.

That made my decision for me. I switched my mobile to silent (knowing that Alice would be following up her text with a thousand phone calls ordering me to leave Edward alone – she's not the only one who can predict obvious futures). I opened the door.

"Edward!" I said first.

Edward didn't move. He stood, staring at the door, watching me step outside.

"I told you that I'd find him," Jacob said.

"Where was he?"

Jacob grinned, "on the Reservation. He's been very naughty. He's broken the treaty."

Edward didn't reply. He looked over at Jacob, listening to something that he was thinking, I guess. I wasn't sure why he didn't say anything. The moment was starting to get a little awkward. I wondered if it would help if I was a bit closer.

I walked slowly towards Edward. He watched me with lowered eyes. He winced, as though my presence hurt him. "Bella!" he said finally, "please don't come too close."

Oh. Well, that wasn't the greeting that I was hoping for. The first thing that he said to me was 'don't come too close.' I guess he wasn't as pleased to see me as I was to see him. None the less, he was here. That counted for something. For all Jacob's teasing, he could hardly have dragged Edward to my house against his will. Edward must want to be here.

"Edward, I've missed you so much!" I wanted to hug him, but I didn't want to upset him. I tried to give him a hug in a gaze and a smile. "Are you ok? Are you hurt?"

He frowned, "I can't actually answer those questions, I'm sorry. Please, don't come any closer." He was absolutely still, completely unblinking. He was like a cobra, hypnotising me before he struck.

My Edward! Something was very, very wrong. Why didn't he laugh at me when I asked if he was hurt? Surely he couldn't be hurt, could he? Slowly, giving him plenty of time to back away, I walked towards him.

Edward didn't move. Instead he moaned, "please, Bella, please stop."

"If you didn't want to see me, you wouldn't be here."

"I didn't say that I don't want to see you. I said: please, don't come any closer. Bella, it's not safe. I'm not safe."

He still wasn't backing off. I guess he needed me to come to him. I kept walking forward.

When I got one metre away, I realised why he was so worried. His eyes were pitch black. It looked as though they were all pupil, huge dark holes letting in far too much light.

"Edward, you need to hunt! Is that what you're worried about?"

He wasn't listening to me any more. He crouched down and hissed.

Uh, oh.

I don't think that he was planning on giving me more than one warning. It must be taking all the control he has left to give me this much warning.

What do you do when a vampire is about to attack? Do you face them, like a tiger, or hold very still like a tyrannosaurus rex?

Suddenly, Jasper was there, and Emmett was there, and Alice was by me, and Rosalie, and Carlisle and Esme. They just appeared out of nowhere, like a sheet of lightening filling the sky.

Jasper and Emmett were flanking Jacob. Carlisle went to his son, his hand resting on Edward's throat, warning him not to move. Alice was at my elbow. Rosalie and Esme were in front of Edward, standing either side of Carlisle. They were all alert, watching Jacob and Edward closely.

"Why are you here, Jacob Black?" Carlisle sounded suspicious.

"I found your boy and brought him to Bella. She wanted to see him."

"Where did you find him?"

"The falls, in the Reservation."

Carlisle frowned, "we can discuss the breach of the treaty later? When I understand what he was doing?"

Jacob snorted, "I am not sure that the Pack will be persuaded that you have control over your coven, Dr Cullen. We will talk."

He looked a lot older when he said that, as though the authority of his ancestors had somehow passed down to him. I don't know how that works, it's not as though I could arrest someone on my Dad's behalf. For Jacob, though, being who he was: the latest in a line of cheifs, somehow it gave him an extra weight and presence. When he spoke, it sounded as though he – though he was only a child – carried an authority to rival Carlisle's. It was the head of the Pack talking to the head of the Coven.

Carlisle sighed, then he looked back at Edward. "You don't want to hurt Bella."

Fixing his dark eyes on me, Edward hissed like a snake. I couldn't see any sign of my Edward in that body. His voice was replaced by a reptilian hiss. His beautiful eyes had sunk into black pits. He wasn't even holding himself the same way that he usually did. He'd lost his confidence, he was ducking from Jacob's eye-line and flinching from his father's hand. Carlisle gripped him by the throat. Edward stopped hissing as his father forced his head back, cutting off his air. Still glowering at Jacob, Emmett took hold of Edward's arm.

He no longer looked anything like a teenage boy. He looked like a creature of the night, hissing, writhing, bearing his teeth.

I don't know how I managed not to scream. But, even in that horrible moment, I didn't forget that Charlie mustn't see any of this. I whispered as fiercely as I could "Let him go! Carlisle, you'll hurt him."

Carlisle didn't reply.

"He won't hurt him, Bella," Alice said softly, "he's just stopping him from hurting you. Edward isn't fully in control of himself, right now. He needs to hunt. We're going to take him to hunt."

"He came to my house," I said "I want to find out why before you take him away."

"That would be far too dangerous, Bella. Just go back to bed. When Edward's hunted, we'll bring him back here, if he still wants to see you."

I think that Edward could hear her. He seemed to find a new burst of energy to fight. He tugged his arm out of Emmett's grip, and – though he couldn't seem to get away from Carlisle – that allowed him to swing around. Carlisle still held his neck, and that stopped him looking at me or speaking. It didn't stop him trying to grab me though. He stretched out his arm, blindly, groping at the air.

If Alice hadn't pulled me away at just the right moment, Edward would probably have succeeded. "It's too dangerous," she said.

The rest of the family seemed to agree. Emmett regained his hold on Edward's arm and he and Edward began to move backwards, with Carlisle following. Edward was forced to retreat from me, though he fought and thrashed every inch of the way.

Too soon, the Cullen men melted into the dark night. The Cullen women followed them without a word. Or at least without a word to me, they may well have been conducting a whole conversation with one another in vampire-quiet voices.

"I'll stay," Jacob said, "you shouldn't be alone in case he returns."

I felt guilty. Jacob had brought Edward back, he deserved more gratitude than this. "Thank you, Jake. I really do appreciate you finding him. I'm sorry it's gone so badly."

He shrugged, "considering he and his family are and out-of-control coven of deadly vampires, I think it went rather well." He didn't sound at all pleased, I wondered if he was regretting bringing Edward back.

"I'm really grateful that you found Edward. I'm sure that his family are grateful too, even if they didn't look that way tonight."

"Huh, the Grateful Dead" Jacob chuckled. "It didn't quite go to plan, Bella, maybe next time."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I wrote the following nonsense. But I did not write any part of the 'Twilight' series.

Though I went back to bed after everyone left, I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep.

I lay in bed thinking about Edward.

I'd missed him so much, and now that he was back I could hardly believe it. Finally, he was home, and soon, so soon, I was going to see him again. Once he'd fed, I could hold him, I could kiss him. Maybe when we were finally alone – once his family stopped panicking that he was thirsty enough to kill me – he would tell me where he'd been. Whether he did or not, I just wanted to talk to him, to touch him. I wanted to press my body against his again, to lose myself in him. I wanted to become a part of Edward-and-Bella the couple again. Without him, I had only been half of myself. I needed my other half back.

I thought for hours about what I should wear. I was finally going to see him again and I ought to wear something suitable. He liked me in blue, so maybe I should wear the blue shirt. But, then he also had a thing about seeing me in a skirt. I guess it pleased his old-fashioned sensibilities to see me dress the way he had been brought up to see women dressing. My blue shirt didn't really go with my only skirt. I would have to choose: skirt or shirt.

Over and again I imagined the moment of our meeting. Would he come through the window, or would he – having been away so long – be more formal and knock on the door? Would he come here to hang out, or would he want to take me back to his house? Surely his family were as desperate to see him as I was. They would probably want him home.

At half five, I decided that I may as well stop trying to sleep. I got up and lay my clothes out on my bed.

At six o'clock, Charlie got up.

No news yet. No Edward and no calls. I began to wonder if his family would delay him. Would they demand that he explained himself to them before he came to see me? Would that take long? How long would Edward allow his family to delay him before he shook off their anxious enquiries and ran to my side? Surely he would run to me as soon as he could.

At six fifteen, Charlie had finished with the bathroom and I took a long, warm shower.

By seven o'clock I was dressed. Even though I had changed my outfit a dozen times, eventually I had no combinations left to try. I looked as good as I was going to look. Edward probably wouldn't care about that anyway.

I wondered if it was too early to call the Cullens. I had seen them about four hours ago. But, there probably isn't a bad time to call people who don't eat or sleep. I couldn't exactly interrupt their dinner (though, perhaps if they didn't turn off their cells, I might be able to scare it away).

Alice picked up and she sounded distracted, "he won't drink."

"Edward?"

"Well, obviously." I don't think that I'd ever heard Alice irritated with me, but she sounded irritated now.

"Sorry. Is he having trouble hunting?"

"No. He simply won't. Carlisle brought a deer and dropped it at his feet. He didn't touch it."

"Have you tried something he really likes? Doesn't he like mountain lions?"

She growled, "it's not that easy. We're in the wrong place, and it's the wrong time of year. Emmett's looking, but I don't hold out much hope. He won't try anything."

"Have you tried, um . . ." I didn't know how to ask the next question. I wanted to know if they had tried feeding Edward what vampires are supposed to eat, but it felt awkward. I was not the right person to be asking.

Alice sighed, "have we killed anyone?" She sounded caustic, "No." There was a short pause. Then she continued in a much softer voice, as though she was ashamed to say it, though she had less reason for shame than I did, "not yet."

I don't know why Alice was embarrassed to be considering it. What I was considering was bordering on cannibalism. I was thinking of feeding one of my own kind to my vampire boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?). At least she was only thinking of feeding her brother a creature that she used to be. It was surely worse for me to imagine killing people than it was for Alice to do so. Yet, she sounded ashamed and I felt only worry about Edward.

"When can I see him?"

"When he's fed. If he wants to see you. I'm sorry, Bella, I have to go."

She hung up on me.

That day dragged by, but it never brought Edward to me. I put the carefully selected outfit in the laundry basket, unseen and unappreciated by Edward.

Days passed, days in which I spent a lot of time not talking to the Cullens.

Many more outfits were carefully selected with a hope that Edward would see them, but he never came by. Each day I tried again, spending hours choosing just the right combinations, as if I thought that my clothes were a magic charm. As if I thought that wearing just the right things would bring Edward to my door, or at least make him answer his phone.

Once, I dropped around. I didn't make it as far as Edward, wherever he was. I ran into Rosalie instead. She was standing in the middle of the drive with her arms folded. I don't know whether it would have hurt her if I'd run into her, because I stopped the truck.

Rosalie stepped around fast and pulled the driver's door opened. She started yelling at me, as if we were already in the middle of an argument.

"He's in his room. He hasn't spoken since he saw you last. He just lies on that stupid bed, staring into space. Jasper can't bear to be in the house for more than an hour at a time, but Alice hasn't left Edward's side. She can't see him in her visions, so she won't let him out of her sight. She's petrified of having him vanish completely. Starving himself for so long is making Edward weak and feral. He hisses at us when we get too close, even though we're trying to help him. He writhes away as if he thought that we were his enemies. Sometimes, when he's had his eyes closed for longer than usual, he starts shaking. Jasper won't even describe his emotions any more. He says that we don't want to know."

"He hasn't said anything? Has he fed at all?"

She shook her head.

"Have you found a mountain lion? Alice said that you were looking."

Rosalie glared at me, furious that I was so behind. It was hardly my fault that I didn't know what they'd been trying. I'd been calling them, all of them, and none of the Cullens were talking to me. "Of course we found one. It was useless. He didn't even turn his head. Carlisle brought back donated blood – and it destroyed a part of him to do so, he thinks it's immoral – but Edward won't even drink that."

"I see," was all I said. I could imagine Carlisle, angry with himself for stealing blood from the hospital but, when it came down to brass tacks, willing to do anything to try and save his son. I had to ask "have you tried, um . . . fresh human blood?" I didn't want to sound disgusted or scared, I tried to keep my tone calm and accepting.

Rosalie was furious at my attempt to sympathise. "You don't understand and you can't understand, and you're making everything worse!" she shouted. "Edward won't hunt animals and now that he's met you, how will we ever encourage him to try anything else?"

"It's not my choice that stops Edward hunting humans!" I wanted to get out of the car, but Rosalie was in my way. I reached to undo my seatbelt and she pinned my hands in place.

"Oh, really? What would you do, how would you feel, if he did slip and kill someone? He dreads disappointing you." Her face was right up against mine now. I could see her perfect white teeth. I wondered if she was thinking about biting me with more than just words.

"He dreads disappointing anyone. He doesn't want to disappoint Carlisle, or Esme, or Alice, or you. This isn't about me!"

"Of course, it's about you. You're the only human here. How can he hunt when he might end up killing one of your school-friends?"

I screamed. "Get a grip, Rosalie! All my school-friends are his school-friends too. If he can't kill them it's because he doesn't want to, not because I'm stopping him. I'm the only human here, but I'm not the only person."

Rosalie slammed the car door in my face and stormed off.

I waited a while. I wasn't sure what to do. Rosalie didn't want me in the house, that much was obvious. It wasn't a big surprise, either. Rosalie had never wanted me in the house. The others had always been welcoming enough to over-ride her in the past. But, nobody else had come out to see what was going on. Anyone in the house, even if they hadn't been blessed with vampire hearing, would have heard our row.

Had anyone been in the Cullens' house, they would have known I was outside. On all my previous visits, I'd been greeted. It was strange not to see Edward or Alice (or both of them, scowling at one another, competing for my attention like a pair of children) out on the porch to greet me.

Even when Rosalie had been yelling at me, nobody had intervened. Emmett didn't come out to make some half-laughing, obviously embarrassed, attempt to make peace. Jasper didn't send out soothing waves to calm us down. Esme didn't call out some motherly advice or admonition. Alice didn't leap up with hundred-mile-an-hour explanations and promises that this too would pass. Carlisle didn't clear his throat to call us back to ourselves.

Edward . . . Edward didn't make his presence known in any way whatsoever.

It was just me and Rosalie. Me trapped in the truck and Rosalie yelling until she'd said her piece and then storming back into the house.

Maybe nobody else was in. Maybe they were all busy with Edward.

I gave up and went home.

I didn't know if Rosalie was angry because they'd tried to get Edward to feed on humans and failed, or if she was angry because they couldn't bear to try and get Edward to feed on humans.

I didn't know if Rosalie was the only one who was angry with me, or if all of the Cullens felt the same way. They didn't answer my phone calls any more.

I hadn't seen Edward since he appeared at my door that night his family dragged him away.

Jacob, conversely, dropped round all the time.

"Are you going to go to college in the autumn?" he asked.

The original plan had been that I would be changed by the autumn. Then there would be no chance of me going to college. Now that Edward and his family weren't talking to me, what did that mean? What would happen if they never started talking to me? They wouldn't change me, and then where would I be?

College was meant to be my cover story. Was it going to become my real story? Was I going to become a normal person, living a life free of vampires? Or was that impossible now? If the Cullens never changed me, would the Volturi come for me?

Edward had said that they would probably forget about me for years. What did that mean? Was I doomed to spend the rest of my life waiting for the vampires to get me? Would I bring danger everywhere I went?

"I don't know," I said sadly.

Jacob sighed.

"I wish that you could move on, Bella. What will it take to make you move on from him? Didn't you see him trying to kill you?"

"He didn't mean it, Jake. He was thirsty, that's all."

"Does he call you?"

I shook my head. "Rosalie said that he doesn't talk at all. He just sits there. He won't drink. He won't talk. They think he's sick."

"Can dead things get sick?"

I glared. "Jacob, I know that you mean well. But you're not helping me right now. Right now I just need to be alone."

He stormed out. But I don't think that he went far. Often during the day I heard rustling in the trees near our yard. If I looked out at night, I saw huge looming wolf shadows on the lawn. Jacob never went far away from me.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: this is mine; the 'Twilight' series is not mine. If that confuses you in any way, please get in touch and I'll explain fully.

After a frightening number of failed attempts, I eventually managed to get Alice to answer one of my phone calls. Suspecting that she was going to hang up soon, I cut right to the chase.

"I think that Edward should see me."

"We know you do. But, I've already told you: not until he's fed. He still isn't eating." I was getting used to Alice's irritated voice. It didn't offend me this time. I knew that she probably wasn't irritated with me, so much as she was irritated with the entire situation.

"I know that. I think you need to try something that really appeals to him."

Alice hissed, "nothing appeals to him."

"I think that you should try . . ."

"No, Bella." Had it taken her this long to see where I was going? Maybe Alice had been trying so hard to see Edward, that she'd bothered looking at anyone else.

"Me."

"Bella! No!"

There was a babble of voices behind Alice. Alice had pushed her hand over the mouth-piece of the phone so that she could talk to them.

I heard angry voices but I couldn't discern what they were saying, only that they were angry. There was definitely at least one female voice in addition to Alice. And there were two different male voices, I knew that because they over-lapped one another. I didn't know if the other voices were Esme, Rosalie, Jasper, Emmett or Carlisle, though. I only knew that none of them could be Edward.

Then there was another voice on the phone, Rosalie. The angry voices in the background were still arguing, but Rosalie had taken the phone.

Without any greeting, she said "He would probably kill you."

"I know. You would need to be prepared. A car crash or something, I guess."

She snorted. "You're serious?"

I sighed, "please, try to imagine where I'm coming from." Surely she would do the same for Emmett. She must know that. If the only way she could think of getting him to feed, to survive, was to offer him her life, I knew that Rosalie would do it. Of course, Edward wasn't going to starve to death. He had told me once that vampires couldn't starve to death, Carlisle had, apparently, tried it. What Edward had right now, though, wasn't enough of a life. He was supposed to be this amazing, powerful hunter, this gifted musician. He was supposed to love his cars, and his family, and his absurdly eclectic music collection. He was supposed to be arrogant and snide and occasionally snarky. He was not supposed to lie in his room, refusing to eat or to talk.

He had an eternity to live through. I wasn't going to let him spend that eternity with no quality of life at all. In comparison to his lifetime, cutting my eighty or so years short paled into insignificance. In comparison to Edward losing all the things that made him Edward, me losing a paltry little thing like a few decades of potential human living seemed like nothing. After all, if Edward didn't get me, doubtless the Volturi would.

Rosalie didn't reply for a long time. When she did reply, I had almost forgotten what she was replying to. "I would rather not" she said. "Bella, this isn't something that anyone else is willing to consider right now. I'll call you back."

I sat by the silent phone.

It hadn't escaped my notice that Rosalie had said that no one 'else' would consider my plan. Surely that meant that she was considering it. She might be able to win over the rest of the family, to persuade them to give it a try. She was more likely to persuade them than I was.

I couldn't just sit there.

What was the best thing to do, right now? I ought to be doing something useful. Now that I had a plan, I wanted to get working on it. I wondered if there was any way that I could make my blood more satisfying, more wholesome.

I remembered Edward once saying that he preferred carnivores. So, I looked in the fridge. There was some bacon and half a packet of sausages. I fried them up.

From blood-doning, I knew that they wouldn't let you donate blood unless you had enough iron. So, while the sausages were cooking, I found some vitamin pills, with iron in them, in the bathroom cabinet. I took a handful of pills and washed them down with orange juice. Health Ed had taught me that we need Vitamin C to absorb iron. Then I ate the sausages and the bacon.

There was too much grease. The meat tasted heavy and fatty. The bacon was fine, but the sausages got progressively harder to eat. I poured myself more orange juice to help rinse the fat that was lining my gullet. By the last sausage, I was forcing down every mouthful. I'd cooked too much really, and I felt a bit bloated when I finished it. Eating nothing but meat was weird. I felt over-fed, but somehow as though I hadn't had a full meal. My mouth was used to some kind of carbohydrate and at least a nod to vegetables completing my meal. Nothing but meat was unusual for me. But, I wanted to make my blood taste like that of a carnivore. As far as I knew mountain lions didn't eat chips or rolls. It might not be the fanciest meal ever, but, maybe I would smell appetising enough to tempt Edward.

Wanting to ensure that there wasn't too much sweat or other gross scents to ruin Edward's appetite, I took another shower. Rubbing the strawberry scented shampoo into my scalp, I wondered if this was a good idea. Did anyone make a mountain-lion scented shampoo? But, supposedly, I was Edward's Singer, his 'brand of heroin', his favourite scent. Maybe I would have been better off using an unscented soap.

Why had I never thought to ask him what it was about me that gave off this enticing aroma? What if he liked the smell of my sweat? Should I have skipped the shower altogether and made myself smell more strongly of Bella?

Whatever he thought of my efforts, whether they worked or not, I was going to be closer to Edward than I had been in a long time. It was possible that I was going to get closer to Edward than I had ever been before. I had better get my body in the best condition possible. I had better shave.

Absent-mindedly, still musing about the best scent to tempt Edward, I cut my leg shaving. I didn't notice it at first. I was concentrating on trying to get my legs smooth, so I missed the feeling. When the warm water filled the cut, however, I couldn't avoid feeling it. It stung. I watched the watery, orangey blood line run down my leg, and swirl around into the drain. I wondered if that was what it would be like when Edward fed on me. Would I feel the initial slice, or would there be no pain until he began to drink? What was it that hurt, the breaking of skin or the leaking of blood?

When James bit me, it had felt like burning. Had that been the venom? Did it always burn when a vampire bit you? I would have to try and stay still and keep my mouth shut. Edward wouldn't be able to feed if I screamed, would he?

I watched the thin line of red washing down the drain and frowned, what a waste of nourishing blood. I should be more careful.

I made sure that my underwear was neat, without holes or worn bits around the gusset. It was like that silly joke: wear clean knickers in case you get hit by a bus. I was wearing my best knickers in case I was going to be killed by a vampire.

It took Rosalie almost three hours to get back to me. And, in the end, she didn't phone, she turned up on my doorstep.

"Alice says that what you've been doing is sick and twisted," she said, "but, she won't tell me what it is. You haven't written any last goodbyes, have you?"

"Of course not. That would only raise suspicions. I'm a police chief's daughter. I'm not that kind of stupid."

Rosalie laughed bitterly.

"Nobody likes this idea," she said. "But, nobody has a better one, either. Carlisle wants to get some stuff together."

"What for?"

She growled at me, "Bella, nobody actually _wants _you to die. Carlisle is hoping that if he has some donated blood on hand, we might be able to save you, if necessary."

"Have you tried offering Edward donated blood?"

"Yes, of course. You are not our first port of call, Bella! Honestly, nobody _wants_ to hurt you. He doesn't have enough of your blood-type. He's going to get some more."

"Oh, thank you."

She snorted another bitter laugh. "And we can't do this here, because of the wolves. We want to go to Alaska. We have friends there."

"Alright. When?"

A stupid part of me was kind of excited, I'd never seen Alaska. I knew it was a stupid part, because I clearly wasn't going to see much of Alaska. Not that I'd even want to. The only thing that I wanted to see was Edward.

"The day after tomorrow. Carlisle and Jasper will escort Edward, and I'll take you."

She didn't mention the others. I wondered if Esme, Alice and Emmett were so against this plan that they had refused to have any part in it. It seemed rude to ask.

"Ok. I'll pack a few things. Wait. Should I pack a few things? Um . . . if you have to arrange an accident, what will it be?"

She was surprised. That wasn't the sort of question that she'd expected me to ask. "What do you mean?" Her nose wrinkled up, as though I hadn't been thorough enough in my washing. "Do you want to know how we'll pretend you died?"

"Yeah. I don't want to leave any clues that will raise suspicions."

"Thank you," she tried to smile at me, but it didn't quite work. I think that Rosalie was actually upset. "Tell your Dad that you're going to visit a college. Pack enough for a weekend. We'll take your truck. If it all goes wrong, he'll think it was a traffic accident."

I nodded, that was the best that we could do.

"Bella, are you sure that you want to go through with this? You don't have to. There's no reason . . ."

"I sort of do have to." It might not be the best way to help him. But this was the only thought that I had. I had to try something, and this was all I'd got.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: This is not exactly 'Twilight'. I do not own and did not write the 'Twilight' series. This is Fanfiction.

The drive was almost completely silent. I slept a lot. Rosalie's eyes were surprisingly light. I asked her why and she looked down, "I thought it would be safest if I was well-fed."

I nodded, but felt embarrassed for having brought it up.

When we stopped to eat, I continued to eat a lot of meat, and I took more of my iron pills. I drank orange juice again.

Rosalie watched me ordering five hamburgers, and carefully deconstructing them, throwing the bread and the pickles in the trash and eating the meat.

"Is that how you normally eat?"

I shook my head, "Edward prefers carnivores."

Rosalie swallowed. She didn't ask me any more questions.

I was asleep when we reached the Cullens' friends' house. Rosalie sat in the car with me until I woke up naturally.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

She shrugged, "it didn't seem fair. We're here now."

We walked up the path, Carlisle was waiting, framed in the open doorway.

"Where is he?" Rosalie asked.

"Secured in the basement."

She nodded She had obviously expected something like that. I wasn't sure why.

Once I realised that they didn't have anything else to say to one another, I spoke. "You should take me to him." I knew that I would have to say this. Neither of them would feel able to suggest that we got started. How could you phrase 'are you ready to let your boyfriend eat you?' But, this was the only reason that any of us were here.

Carlisle looked completely different. He looked at least twice as old as I had ever seen him before. His eyes, like Rosalie's, were an incredibly light yellow. They were also utterly miserable.

He led us down the hallway and through another door, then down into the basement.

It didn't look anything like I'd expected. The room was brightly, harshly lit. The walls were white. The floor was tiled. There was a hospital bed to one side, surrounded by an extraordinary array of hospital equipment. As far from the hospital bed as it could practically be, was a terrifying chair. It looked like a kind of torture device. It was made of solid metal and it had leg restraints, arm restraints, a head rest that looked more like an iron collar. Barely visible any more, he was so tightly bound by iron bars and chains, Edward was in the chair.

His eyes were closed.

"Is that necessary?" I asked, shocked to see the way that Edward was held in place, as if he were a dangerous criminal and not a sick man.

"If we want him to stay in this chair, yes." Jasper answered me and I looked up with surprise.

I had been so occupied in looking at the chair that I hadn't noticed the two men stood either side of it. Jasper was on the left and a stranger was on the right.

Jasper looked nervous. His eyes were, if possible, even lighter than Rosalie and Carlisle's. They were a daffodil yellow. He was shifting from foot to foot, as though he really didn't want to be here. I wondered why he was here. Surely, of all the Cullens, he was the one most likely to crack and feed on me. That was when I was sure that the others had refused to play any part in this plan. If he was here with Rosalie and Carlisle, that could only be because Emmett and Alice and Esme had all refused to come. I wondered what would happen to their family if I did die. It looked as though this might split the Cullens down the middle.

"I think I should write a note," I said.

Rosalie winced, "Bella, we couldn't . . . we couldn't give it to anyone."

"Yes, you could. I want to write to Esme, and to Emmett and to Alice. They'll know what's really happened, and, I think that they need to know why."

Rosalie looked at Jasper, he nodded. I wondered why she wanted to check with him. Perhaps she was checking that I was in my right mind.

Carlisle brought me a pen and paper.

Now that I had them, I wasn't sure what to write. At first I thought that I would want to write individual letters. But, I couldn't think what to say. Instead I wrote:

'Dear Esme, Emmett and Alice,

I am sorry.'

Then I stopped and looked at it.

Nobody said anything. Nobody moved. I had never felt so important. It was horrible. I wished that I could just be a normal girl again, not standing here with the fate of a family of vampires in my hands. All these people were just waiting for me. This was embarrassing. I should just get on with the stupid letter.

'Please don't blame Carlisle or Rosalie, or Jasper. It wasn't their fault.

This was my idea and I insisted on carrying it out.

Nobody pressured me or encouraged me at all.

Not even Edward. Please don't blame him either.

This is what I chose to do.

If you're angry, you can be angry with me.

I couldn't bear for there to be a world without Edward in it.

Even if I can't be here to see him, I have to know that he is alive

[I crossed out 'alive' and tried again]

well and safe.

I am sorry.

Bella.'

Then I realised that I would have to write another note. So I tore off the paper and handed it to Rosalie.

'Dear Edward,

I love you.'

But, I couldn't think of anything else to say. Any kind of explanation sounded foolish and silly. I didn't want to leave him with anything foolish or silly. I thought about writing 'you are not a monster', but I worried that his eyes would always skim over the 'not' and it would have the opposite effect to that which I intended.

If I had to leave Edward with nothing but a note, then it must be a note without the word 'monster' in it. It should also be a note without 'life' or 'vampire' or 'blood' in it. If I could only write one thing to him, then it should be positive, not negative. It had to offer hope and consolation and it had to be something that would build him up. If he killed me, Edward was never going to forgive himself.

I knew that I had to leave him with something from me, something to remind him that this was my choice, made out of everlasting love for him. But, what can be added to those three magic words that I had already written? What can you add to 'I love you'?

In the end all I added was:

'You are worth any sacrifice.

Bella.'

I considered putting a kiss but it didn't seem like enough.

Then I gave Carlisle back the pad and the pen.

"Um, Bella," Jasper was struggling to look at me, "if this goes wrong, what do you want?"

"What?"

He grimaced, "do you want us to try and change you, or would you rather we didn't?"

I might have been imagining it, nobody else responded to it, so maybe it wasn't a real sound at all. I thought that I heard Edward whine. I wondered if he still hated the idea of me being changed.

"Try and change me. I would like to see what happens next." In a way it was a stupid reason, to petty to live for. But, it was also the only real reason that anyone wanted to stay alive. We all just want to see what's going to happen next. "I'm ready now," I said. "How are we going to do this?"

"If you want blood to flow in a way that can be effectively staunched, you could try your wrist. It doesn't produce the strongest flow, but it should be fast enough." Rosalie said.

I nodded. "Then I just hold it to his lips?"

"Yes. If that is what you really want to do. After a couple of minutes, unless you ask us to step in before-hand, Carlisle and I will take you to the bed and tend to you, Jasper and Eleazar will restrain Edward. Bella, you must understand that I cannot make any guarantees. This is not safe for you."

I nodded. "I know, it's ok."

"In that case," Rosalie's voice shuddered, "Bella, thank you." Then she handed me a scalpel.

I stared at the blade. It was sharp and real and terrifying.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle, I can't do it."

"Of course, Bella we understand. Come, on, you should eat something and rest. Rosalie will take you home."

"No! No! That's not what I mean. I mean that I can't physically do it. Please, you have to do it for me."

He looked like he wanted to cry.

"You want me to cut into your wrist?"

"Yes, I want you to help me feed your son. Please, Carlisle? It's just too hard for me to do it."

I held my arm out. It would have been far too much to expect Carlisle to restrain me. Nothing happened.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I promised Esme. I am only here to help you. I am not here to forward this plan."

"You're not here to help Edward?"

Carlisle winced. "I don't want to help him like this," he said.

"So, this is just me, and Rosalie and Jasper."

Rosalie smirked at me, "does that make any difference?"

"No, it's just . . . I didn't realise this was going to be so . . . controversial. In that case, will you?"

She pursed her lips and shook her head, "and nor will Jazz. If you can't do it, then that's fine, nobody in this room is going to start slicing your veins open."

I gritted my teeth. This was my big moment. I dragged the blade down my arm. I had to press hard, and the line that I cut was wobbly. It burnt with horrible pain. I was surprised that the cut, from such a cold blade, felt so hot in my skin. For a split second there was a white line about two inches down my wrist. Then the blood began to flow.

It was beautifully red, like cranberry juice. Rushing forward before I dripped any of this life-saving stuff on the floor, I held my arm out under Edward's nose.

His eyes opened. They were black and empty. I couldn't see the man I knew in there at all.

He stared at me. He hissed and tried to move his head away, but it was held firm. I watched as he writhed and twisted as much as the restraints would allow – which was hardly at all – he looked like a snake thrown into a fire.

He sobbed, "no, Bella, no, please!"

But, then all vestigages of Edward were gone. All that was there in the chair was an animal, a hungry, starving animal. My blood touched his lips and he lapped at it. I put my wrist to his mouth and he latched on.

The blood was flowing freely, he didn't need to use his teeth. Instead he covered the wound with his mouth, like a baby getting hold of a teat, and he sucked.


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up, lying on the hospital bed. Rosalie was holding my hand and grinning like an idiot.

"Hey, Bella, you're alive!"

I laughed at her, "yes, I'm alive. How's Edward?"

"He talked!" she said.

Carlisle appeared beside her. "You fainted, Bella."

"Oh, did you stop because of that?"

"Not exactly."

"I stopped." I heard a familiar voice, one that I hadn't heard in a horribly long time. He sounded furious, but I was so delighted to hear him at all that I was almost glad I had made him furious enough to talk. "Your blood," he said it with such fervour as though my blood was a precious substance to him, a communion host, "gave me enough strength to resist your blood. Probably not a scenario that any of you imagined."

I grinned, "Edward! You're talking."

He sighed, "I'm flattered that you're all so pleased to hear my voice. I don't think that it was worth this kind of risk-taking."

Rosalie smirked at me, "he's been annoying like this ever since he stopped drinking from you. That's when you fainted. It was a bit of a surprise, actually. Your body seemed to be more shocked by him stopping than starting."

"Are you better, Edward? Did it work? Can you hunt now?"

His shoulders slumped. "I can tell you all to leave me alone," he said. "I can't answer your questions, so I won't be rude enough to ask you any. Please, just leave me alone. I think that the chair is a nice touch. If you could just leave me here, that would work."

"Oh, Bella!" Rosalie said, and she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me against her chest. That's when I realised that I was crying.

He was back, but all that he wanted us to do was to leave him alone.

"Jasper?" I heard Carlisle say, "can you explain any of this?"

"Despair," Jasper said, in a quiet monotone, "exasperation. There's a bit of disgust, but then, Edward always feels that."

"Maybe we should leave him alone," Eleazar said. "Not for long, but for an hour or so. It is the only thing that he's requested."

Rosalie began tidying up the tubes and sheets, preparing me to leave the room. Edward sighed in relief. Rose picked me up carefully, arranging a cradle for me in her arms. I was still weak and my limbs felt floppy, as though I had just had a major electric shock.

"Bella," Edward said as we left the room, "I would appreciate it, if you would remember that dream."

Rosalie carried me, still attached to a whirring machine, up the basement steps, as easily and comfortably as if I was a baby. Carlisle, Eleazar and Jasper followed.

"Perhaps he just needs time to acclimatize himself," Eleazar suggested. "What was the dream that he mentioned?"

I told them all the dream. But it didn't seem to help. Edward must think that there was some message in it, but nobody else could see what the message was supposed to be.

After a couple of hours, Carlisle, Jasper and Eleazar took Edward out and tried to get him to hunt. Rosalie stayed with me and fed me, at my request, piles of bacon and sausages and glasses of orange juice.

The hunting trip was a miserable disaster. They returned to the house looking dejected. Edward wouldn't / couldn't even drink from an animal when they held it bleeding over his lips.

They sat with us in the lounge. Edward begged to be put back in the basement. He kept up a series of desperate pleas. All he wanted was to be safely back in 'his chair.' Eventually, we gave in and returned him to the only place he seemed to feel safe.

"We could try more of my blood," I said.

I looked around a circle of unhappy faces.

"He can't survive off you, Bella. He would kill you."

"Just until he can hunt again."

"He isn't too weak to hunt," Carlisle said, "even if he were, he would have been able to drink from the animals that we offered him."

"He will not explain himself," Eleazar complained, "he is silent or he changes the subject. What he will not do is answer a straight question."

"I think that he can't," Jasper corrected, "his frustration spikes as he fails to reply. He is not nervous or pleased, as if he were trying to deceive. He's angry and exasperated It's like someone failing to speak in a language they do not know very well."

"Maybe we could try the donated blood. It's my blood-type. It's the next closest thing to my blood, and we know that he can drink that."

Carlisle shrugged, "it's worth a try."

"Let me come," I begged, "I just want to see him."

Strangely, it was Rosalie who backed me up, "for love's sake, Carlisle, we owe her!"

So, she picked me up again. I don't think that it was necessary any more, but both of us found some comfort in the physical closeness. We all trooped down the stairs to Edward.

He frowned when we came in.

"What are you going to do, now?"

"Calm down" Jasper said, laying his hand on Edward's shoulder and presumably laying his gift on pretty thick at the same time. "We're not going to thwart you. We understand that you don't want to feed on Bella. We want to try donated blood."

Edward sighed, but he didn't say anything.

Carlisle took a bag of blood and twisted open a knob at the top. He offered it to Edward. Edward's lips remained stubbornly closed.

Undeterred, Carlisle squeezed the bag, smearing blood over the outside of Edward's mouth. Edward made no move to lick it away.

Nodding to Jasper, Carlisle undid one of the metal straps around Edward's chin. Carlisle and Jasper forced Edward's mouth open and poured blood in. Edward didn't move at all. He didn't even swallow. It was an extraordinary thing to watch. He wasn't fighting them, he was absolutely still. He let them move his mouth and his head. He simply didn't swallow.

Carlisle took hold of Edward's throat, massaging it like vet trying to force a cat to swallow a tablet. Edward tried to move his head to one side or the other, but the two men held it firm. Edward suddenly spat out the blood that was in his mouth. It spattered over Carlisle's face and Jasper's hands.

Edward groaned. It was strange. He seemed to be trying not to drink, but he wasn't at all pleased to have succeeded. It was as though Edward was no longer in full control of his body.

"I think that we almost managed it," Carlisle said.

Jasper quirked one eyebrow at him, but he didn't argue. That would be cruel, like tapping King Lear on the shoulder and telling him that Cordelia is definitely dead.

"Another try?" Carlisle said.

Jasper shrugged, "we've already ruined our shirts, there's nothing to lose now."

"There speaks Alice's husband." Carlisle said with a smile.

Jasper looked down at his shirt and sighed.

"Didn't she pack you any others?" Rosalie asked gently.

Jasper shook his head, "Alice didn't pack for me."

It might have been a small thing to some couples, but Alice letting Jasper travel without a vast supply of shirts, it was the biggest rift between them imaginable. Once again, I wondered what would happen to the Cullen family if they didn't bring me back home alive.

Carlisle fetched another bag of blood and they began the whole process again, he rested his hand lightly on Jasper's shoulder in the universal gesture of male sympathy. Jasper shrugged and they got back to work. They forced Edward's mouth open, poured in blood, then Jasper held his lips closed while Carlisle tried to make him swallow.

"Just drink," I muttered, "Edward, just drink. Swallow the blood."


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I wrote the following nonsense. But I did not write any part of the 'Twilight' series.

Carlisle yelped in triumph.

"It worked!" he shouted. "It worked!"

Edward's eyes shot open and he stared directly at me. There was colour returning to them finally, there were pink rims around the edges. He looked like he'd been on a long drinking binge. However, he also looked like he'd just received a miraculous revelation.

"Hope!" Jasper shouted, sounding just as thrilled as Carlisle. "Edward, you just felt hopeful."

"He's still thirsty," Rosalie said, "try and do that again."

There was a new determination to their movements. They cracked open his jaw, as if it were a walnut shell. Carlisle poured more blood inside this time, a whole mouthful. Jasper held his lips and he grinned. Edward's eyes were fixed on not the blood, nor the men feeding him, but me.

"Drink," I muttered again, "drink."

This time he swallowed by himself, without Carlisle working his throat at all.

There was a new air of joy and hope in the room. It was beginning to feel like we might be getting somewhere.

"Let him try it for himself," Rosalie said, "give him the blood."

Carlisle handed the bag to Edward and he threw it across the room. He hissed in frustration at his own action.

Jasper winced, probably at the sudden onslaught of Edward angst. It was pretty painful to watch, I couldn't imagine how painful it must be if you had to share it. "Too much, too soon," Jasper said gently, "don't worry."

Carlisle fetched another bag. I really hoped that he hadn't taken all this blood from people who really needed it. Then I changed my mind. He was giving it to someone who really needed it. I just hoped Edward wouldn't keep spitting it out and throwing it across the room.

Carlisle opened the bag and approached Edward slowly. "You need to drink," he told him.

Jasper shook his head, "he isn't against it," he said, "he knows that he needs it. I've tried to tell you. I think that he can't do it. I don't think it's that he doesn't want to."

Carlisle sighed. "Try and open your mouth, Edward."

Edward looked at me again. "Go on," I encouraged, "open your mouth."

He opened it, Carlisle poured in more blood.

Edward didn't move.

"Now you close your mouth," Rosalie reminded him, "then you swallow."

Jasper glared at her, "don't tease." He seemed to be interpreting for Edward now, telling us what he was feeling.

Nobody wanted to tease Edward, we were all there trying to help him, not to hurt him; so we all sat in silence. But, it was too hard for him. Edward couldn't close his mouth again.

Jasper leant over, "calm down," he said again, and he snapped Edward's mouth shut.

"I think that we should take a break soon," Jasper said, "he's getting very frustrated."

"Come on, Edward," I muttered, longing to help him somehow, "swallow, sweetheart, please."

He swallowed.

We all breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"A break?" Carlisle said, "shall we go back upstairs?"

We all looked at Edward. "Please," he said.

Jasper carefully unfastened his restraints. I ran over. But Rosalie grabbed me and held me back. "He's very thirsty and you smell of blood," she said gently, "you can't hold him yet."

Edward sighed deeply.

I smiled at him from where I was. "I love you," I told him, "soon enough I'll be able to hold you again."

Rosalie carried me from the room. Jasper put his hand on Edward's shoulder, that was the last that I saw of him that day. Rosalie insisted that I went to bed. She was worried about me. She seemed to think that I needed a lot of sleep.

Nobody else in the house slept at all, of course, so the days and nights were getting a little blurred. Without Rosalie's insistence, I think that I would have liked to stay up with everyone else, to keep trying to help Edward, now that we were beginning to make progress. But, Rose said that it would be very awkward if I made myself sick, and I knew that I should try to be sensible.

It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep, even though I would prefer to be downstairs with the others. I drifted off almost as soon as I lay down.

When I woke up, the house felt tense again.

I looked around in confusion and saw Rosalie pacing up and down the room.

"He won't drink," she said. "After all that success yesterday, when he was doing so well, we've gone back about five paces. He won't do anything for himself and when we try to feed him he twists and spits at us."

"Where is he now?"

She sighed, "back in that stupid chair."

"Let me see him?"

She shrugged, "Carlisle would say no, but I don't see what harm it can do."

We found Edward in his chair, bound tightly again.

"Why did you tie him up?"

Edward sighed, "I was rather difficult," he said.

I laughed, "you, difficult? Surely not."

He opened his eyes and grinned at me. His eyes were a dirty maroon colour now. I wondered how he would look when we finished getting him to drink the donated blood. Would he scare me when his eyes were completely red? If they twinkled like this, I didn't think that I would be scared at all. "Jasper shouted at me," he complained.

"You bit Jasper," Jasper reminded him, from the other side of the room, where he was tidying up shards of broken glass. Jasper had changed his shirt since I saw him last. I wondered where the new one had come from. It looked a bit too bright for Jasper's colouring, so it can't have been his. "And you threw a glass beaker at the wall."

"You were rather difficult," I agreed. "Why were you giving him a glass beaker anyway?"

"I thought it might be easier to drink, since he wouldn't have to suck."

"How are you feeling, Edward?"

"Better now that you're here."

"Actually," Jasper said, "that's true. His mood lifted when you walked in the room. He's been pretty grouchy while you slept and, though he won't tell me what I'm doing wrong, he seems to blame me for the failure of this attempt."

I looked at Edward, "did you tell Jasper it was his fault."

"Of course not!"

"That's how he feels," Jasper said.

"Well, he's wrong. It's obviously not your fault. Do try to be nice, Edward."

He laughed at me. "Sorry for being such a pain, Jazz. None of this is your fault."

"Fine," Jasper said, "we will try once more, and then we'll take a break. Get ready."

Edward clamped his mouth shut and attempted to turn his head in the restraints.

Jasper sighed. "That's not quite what I meant."

Carlisle stepped in to help prise open Edward's mouth. Then they poured in another mouthful of blood. Edward spat it out, covering Jasper's face, and dripping over his shirt.

Jasper let out a grumbling growl, and wiped the back of his sleeve over his eyes. He seemed irritated. I don't know how I would have felt if Edward had bitten me, thrown things across the room and then spat in my face, whilst I was trying to feed him. I was impressed that all Jasper did was growl low and clean himself up.

"Sorry, Eleazar," Jasper said, "perhaps I should have just kept the last one on."

So that was where the new shirt came from.

I sighed. "Oh, Edward, yesterday you could do this. Why can't you do it today? Just drink it."

Edward looked at the pouch and now, instead of trying to move away, he jerked his chin towards it, as if he were trying to force his mouth down to the opening.

Jasper looked up from cleaning off his face. He stared at Edward and then at me. Then he lifted the pouch to Edward's lips. Edward drank greedily.

Leaving Carlisle and Rosalie to finish cleaning up the room and, presumably, set Edward free, Jasper took my hand and led me up the stairs.

"I think that it's you," he whispered. "I think that he drinks when you tell him to, and only when you tell him to. I don't know why, and I don't know if we ought to let him know before we've figured that out, but I think that you're the solution. I think that you can order Edward to drink."


	12. Chapter 12

When Edward came back upstairs, Jasper said that it would be ok for me to touch him.

Carlisle didn't seem sure. He would have preferred to wait until Edward had actually managed to hunt, not just to drink a few pouches of donated blood. He would have also preferred Edward not to touch me until my wound was completely healed. It would never be hard for Edward to get to my blood, my skin was not much of a barrier for him, more of a convenient container. A healing wound, however, was like an open packet of crisps. It's hard to resist them, once you've broken the seal.

Lately Carlisle had been doing a lot of things that he didn't really want to do, so he just said that he wasn't sure, and then he left us all to it.

Edward moaned, of course, and said that he agreed with Carlisle. "I'm not safe for you to be around, Bella," he said. "Couldn't we at least do this in the basement, where I would be under control?"

"No," Rosalie said, "we're not strapping you to that stupid contraption when all Bella wants to do is to give you a hug."

"I'm sure that you will have plenty of occasions on which you can ask Bella to tie you up," Jasper added, "this isn't really a good one."

"You're not exactly springing across the room at her," Rosalie said.

So, Edward sat down on the sofa, with Jasper and Rosalie either side of him. They were stood up, which I think was intended to give them a slight advantage over Edward, in case it came to a fight. Then I walked over and gave him a hug. After a couple of seconds, where he probably tried to decide whether or not he was going to kill me, Edward hugged me back.

Feeling his arms around me again was amazing.

Before I could catch my breath, tears began to ooze down my cheeks. "I've missed you so much, Edward!"

His voice sounded weak and tearful too, "I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean any of this to happen."

"It's ok. Everyone knows that this isn't what you want."

Eleazar came in, carrying a tray of food. He was rather entertained by my carnivore diet, I wondered if that was because nobody had told him why I was only eating meat at the moment. He had a large steak, with a pepper sauce.

To everyone's shock, as Eleazar entered the room with the tray, Edward vaulted over the back of the sofa and cowered behind it.

"I don't want that," he complained.

"Well," Jasper said soothingly, probably calming Edward with his gift at the same time as he attempted to do so with his voice, "that's fine, Edward. It isn't for you. It's for Bella. You don't eat human food, remember? You drink blood, because you're a vampire."

Edward stayed behind the sofa and hissed at my dinner.

"I'll just eat in another room. You should really go and hunt, Edward."

He stood up then and actually grinned at me. "Ok," he said.

Jasper was more right than he knew. It wasn't only drinking that I could tell Edward to do, it was also hunting. Whatever was wrong with him, I seemed to be able to make him over-ride it, even though Carlisle's orders had no effect.

Carlisle, Jasper, Eleazar and Rosalie had picked Edward up before and dragged him out of the house to hunt. He had been at best passive, and, from time to time, downright aggressive. But, when I said that he should hunt, he walked out of the house with his brother and father. Watching from the window, I saw all three of them break into a run, and race towards the woods together. Rose watched with me, and took my hand in hers.

"Thank you," she said, "for bringing him back again."

I smiled, "you know that I don't save him out of the goodness of my heart. I want him for myself."

Rose laughed. If anything good came out of this whole batch of nonsense, I think it was my friendship with Rose. I didn't feel as though she hated me anymore. "After this last few weeks, I think that you may very well be welcome to him. I've had enough blood spat at me for an eternity, and I think that the rest of the family would agree."

"Maybe if I tell him to stop spitting, that would work."

"We probably shouldn't over-do it. Jasper isn't sure that Edward knows he drinks when you tell him to. Let's not give it away for a bit, in case that stops it working."

I nodded. "Does anyone have any idea why this would happen?"

Eleazar appeared at my other side then, "I've never seen anything like it," he said. "I once met a vampire who was able to implant ideas into the brains of humans, to make them do things that they didn't plan on doing. It was a strong gift, and a dangerous one. But, even his gift was not strong enough to affect our kind."

"What happened to him?" I asked.

Eleazar's voice lowered, as though he was apologising for what he was telling me, "as I said, it was a dangerous gift. The Volturi decided that it was too dangerous a gift. They couldn't allow it to remain. A vampire like that could raise a human army. Humans are weaker than us, of course, but if you commanded enough of them . . ."

"But, he hasn't met any strange vampires," Rose said, "we'd have sensed them."

"Maybe it's a reaction to having a relationship with a human; I have no experience of that either. If Edward is having two unheard of experiences at the same time, perhaps they are connected."

We stood in a line, staring out of the window at the snow. The world was beautiful. It looked clean and simple. I wished that it was really like that. That love was like snow, covering everything and making it simple and pure. But, of course, even snow doesn't really purify the world. All the mud and the rubbish is still there, underneath the snowfall.

While we stood there, a figure appeared in the distance, running back towards the house in a zigzag pattern at tremendous speed.

"Carlisle?" Rose said "why is he back so soon?"

In deference to the older times in which he had been human, Eleazar went to the door and opened it, standing between us girls and any danger that might be out there.

Carlisle stopped about a hundred yards from the house. He faced Eleazar and spoke too quietly for me to hear.

So, I didn't hear him say it, and I didn't know what had happened until Rose repeated it in a scream: "they've lost Edward!"

"How could they lose him?"

"Quite easily," Eleazar responded calmly, "he is faster than they are. If he wanted to run away it would be an easy thing for him to accomplish."

"But, why would he want to run away?"

It didn't make any sense. Edward had repeatedly asked to be returned to captivity. He liked 'his chair', he hadn't asked them to let him go. Why was he running now?

"Come on," Rose said, "if anyone can get him back, it's you."

"What if it's me that he's running from?"

"We'll worry about that later. Right now, he is weak and he ought to be here, with his coven. He won't be able to defend himself."

"Why would he need to defend himself? Even weakened, he's stronger than any human."

Rose grimaced, not liking having to give me quite so much bad news all at once. "Carlisle smelt wolves. The Pack must have followed you and me up here."


End file.
